When you think of the word “soldier”, what springs to your mind?

Fearless? Brave? Heroic? Fighting for what’s good and true?

When white supremacist group The Southern Cross Soldiers decided to hold a rally on Australia Day, they thought the beach would be their oyster, and the media their bitch. What patriotic, beach loving Aussie could ignore their call for immigrants to fuck off?

Sadly, it was not to be.

You could tell it would be an exercise in idiocy from the moment the first little troopers arrived under The Clocks and began casting anxious eyes over the Australia Day parade rolling down Swanston St.

Chinese marchers with their dragons, Turkish dancers, new arrivals from Africa – the sort of people your typical Southern Cross Soldier wants to send back where they came from.

But outnumbered as they were, there wasn’t a peep out of these heroes, whose ranks swelled gradually to about 30.

Thirty? Sounds like a right proper army to me.

And at Mordialloc’s multicultural melting pot, well you just had to laugh. They congregated for a while at the foot of the pier like virgins at an orgy, glancing anxiously down the beach and at all those non-Anglo faces, who paid them no heed whatsoever.

When a couple of brawny Pacific Islanders ambled past, their silence was deafening.

[...]

When a Herald Sun photographer tried to snap their pictures, that was the moment to demonstrate courage. Fifteen on one, those are the sort of odds cowards like best.

There was a bit of pushing and shoving and lens-blocking, and one big kid struck a boxing pose and offered to punch some heads.

He didn’t and they drifted away on a cloud of obscenity to have another go at remembering the words to Advance Australia Fair.

It’s good to know John Ray has these guys on his side, because when the New Soviets come they will not be spared.

On Sunday Australia found out who in 2008 the governments of Australia thought was the first Australian amongst 21 million equals. And as Kevin Rudd officially gifted a certificate and a post-modern chunk of perspex to indigenous activist Mick Dodson, a large proportion of Australians were probably postulating, as they do every year, that Tabasco Sauce is more Australian than the person chosen.

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Kevin Rudd on moving Australia Day from January 26th, part one:

“We are a free country and it is natural and right from time to time, that there will be conversations about such important symbols for our nation,” he said.

Kevin Rudd on moving Australia Day from January 26th, part two:

“To our indigenous leaders, and those who call for a change to our national day, let me say a simple, respectful, but straightforward no.”

Well that was a pretty short fricken conversation.

Tobias notes Quadrant’s Australia Day commemorative list of things that Teh Left hate about Australia.

…here is a partial list of the things the Left hate about Australia:

Australia Day, Anzac Day, people who live in the suburbs, people who live in the country, farmers, fishermen, dams, Quadrant, Australian history, the flag, the constitution, Andrew Bolt’s readers, The Australian, Liberal voters, National Party voters, Family First voters, One Nation supporters, the RSL, McDonald’s, McMansions, plasma TVs, Australian Idol, big business, small business, monolingualists, Christians, our last prime minister, liberal democracy, capitalism, lamingtons, Australians, the national coat of arms, the Samuel Griffith Society, soldiers, conservatives, musicals not about Australian Left politicians, commercial television, non-indigenous trees, dog owners, cats, non-Left talk back radio hosts, timber workers, plastic bags, Howard’s battlers, climate change sceptics, white people, commercial radio, America (pre-Obama), sovereignty (ours), realistic paintings (especially by Albert Namatjira), the Big Banana and other Big Things, cultural dissidents, men, sprinklers, green lawns, cars (other peoples), wood fires, rednecks, Sir John Kerr.

To be continued …

Go on then. Continue the list in comments. And while were making stereotypical and reductionist list, let’s put together a list of things that Teh Right hate about Australia.

Realising that the 21st century is well-and-truly upon us, GrodsCorp has blundered into the brave new old world of podcasting and presents to you the inaugural GrodsCast (see the play on words there?) GrodsCasts will be recorded weekly on a Tuesday night and broadcast either immediately or the next morning depending on the number of beers we drink during the show.

In this episode The Editor, John Surname, Prophet and Craig discuss the following:

* Heath Ledger
* Scientology
* Australia Day
* Telstra
* Don Bradman
* Big Day Out
* Helen Razer
* Jim Schembri
* Chris Johnston

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