It’s on! The Melbourne International Film Festival launched last night and my personal MIFF ‘09 experience begins tomorrow night. After spending an agonising couple of hours over a couple of pints of Guinness with the festival program, I’ve whittled my shortlist of 30 films down to the 13 allowed by my festival pass and I’m gearing up for two weeks of darkened cinemas, sleep deprivation and awesome international cinema. Just like in ‘05, ‘06, ‘07 and ‘08 I’ll be assaulting you with my film reviews whether or not you want them.

This year’s big questions:

• Will Craig faint in the middle of a packed cinema again?
• Will I finally snap that photograph of Bicycle Pump Man that I’ve been trying to get for four years?

Film rating: 1/5
Walkouts: 3/5
Pretentious clapping at credits: 0/5
BPM sighting: Yes

In ancient China, a vagabond swordsman earns his living by hiring others as assassins. His heart was long ago hardened by the betrayal of a woman, but his encounters make him reflect on his lost love.Cut together by director Wong Kar-wai from a variety of prints of the original, this is the definitive version of his rarely seen martial arts film. Digitally tweaked and tightened, Ashes of Time Redux remains pure Wong – a visually bold film that centres on unrequited longing and emotional frustration, rather than the sword fights of wuxia cinema.A star-studded cast includes both Tony Leungs, Leslie Cheung and Maggie Cheung, and masterful camera work by Christopher Doyle (Rabbit-Proof Fence).

I arrived about a minute late for the film (thanks a million, Yarra Trams) which always puts me in a shitty mood, and then I got stuck with a shitty seat so I was in an even shittier mood. About twenty minutes into Ashes Of Time Redux I suspected that I was watching a turkey but crossed all my fingers that my first film of MIFF ‘08 would redeem itself.

It didn’t.

Look, the cinematography and visual direction were pretty bloody good, and there were some interesting sequences from a pure filmmaking point of view, but the film just wasn’t very good to watch. The storyline wasn’t engaging — it was quite confusing in places — and the emotional themes were hideously overblown. Put it this way: Bicycle Pump Man walked out! He freakin’ walked out. And in my long relationship with BPM I’ve never known him to walk out of a film. Pretty damning stuff.

The Melbourne International Film Festival kicked off last night and my first film of 13 is tonight. As in previous years GrodsCorp will review each film viewed while providing crucial updates on Bicycle Pump Man sightings (I might even see if I can get a photo this year.)

Recent convert to blogging, Jim Schembri, on the other hand, is too lazy to blog about his MIFF experiences so he is asking his reader(s) to do the work:

CineTopia would like to hear your comments about anything you see – and we mean anything. The strength of any film festival such as MIFF is that it allows you to see things you might not see otherwise, or may ever see again.

So while comments on films that will get a commercial release are welcome, CineTopia is particularly interested in those hidden gems residing in the distant corners of the program that most people never get to hear about. Certain films that warrant special attention will get a separate page.

If you wish to submit a review to CineTopia, there are just a few basic grounds rules to observe:

(1) Please put the film’s name in caps;

(2) Keep your pieces to a max of around 200 words;

(3) Don’t be backwards about coming forward – but, please, no blurting. Sentences, punctuation and grammar are still very much in favour, even on the ethernet.

First he trashes blogging, then he starts blogging, then he gets other people to do his blogging for him. Does Schembri have no shame?

Without even trying GrodsCorp seems to have become the favoured interweb location for moofie distribution companies to source reviews of their fillums. The Editor and J,The’s throwaway reviews of Melbourne International Film Festival films have ended up in some strange places.

Invisible Waves
MRA Entertainment have included one quote about this film in its press kit: GrodsCorp’s. Well, it’s actually an amalgam of comments made by both J,The and The Editor at this post. Consequently this:

J, The says: This is an excellent film.

About halfway through it, I had serious misgivings. I went to see this film without really reading the blurb in the guide, because my cinematographic idol Christopher Doyle shot it. He also shot all of Wong Kar Wai’s really good films, and as far as I am concerned, he is an absolute genius with a lens. I know I am gushing. I just think this review needs context.

So I was prepared to love this film regardless of storyline, but about an hour into it and I was bored. Everything was moving sloooooowly. I was sick of the time we were spending with the main character and his guilt, with very little intrigue to punctuate it. I was getting close to even being disappointed with Mr Doyle’s colour grade, which was depressingly washed out, greyish green to match the ocean I guess.

All was forgiven, however, in the last 30 minutes of the film. I am sure you have had the same experience before – you are watching and waiting, watching and waiting, you don’t want to walk out and leave with a disappointed feeling but are praying that something is going to happen soon – and it does.It’s not that something extra suddenly happens on the screen or the style of film changes to one you are more accustomed to enjoying. It’s simply that you hit the zone. You and the film are keeping the same rhythm. You get it. You like it.

I am not going to give away the story in this review. But I am going to say that the last few dialogues and the interactions between the hitmen in the film are what made it for me. I left all full; a slightly stunned feeling in my gut, as if those hours and hours (probably one, all told) of boring time in the dingy hull of a ship with the lead character had carved out a space there unbeknownst to me and the final half hour filled it up. Thank goodness I didn’t walk out. I get to continue my adoration of Mr Doyle and I get to add another director (Pen-Ek Ratanaruang) to my must-see lists. Go and see it and if you do – stay until the end.

The Editor says: J, The is essentially spot on. This film would’ve got a 4/5 instead of 3.5 if only they remembered to employ an editor. A unique and impressive cinema experience provided you’re in the mood for a quiet and contemplative style of film.

Becomes this:

Media Quotes:
“This is an excellent film… A unique and impressive cinema experience.” Grodscorp

The Great Happiness Space
This film’s website links to a PDF of media quotes. For some reason the PDF doesn’t open properly but Google’s HTML version reveals that J,The’s review impressed the distributor so much they quoted it:

I thoroughly recommend this film, congratulate its makers,
and send hopeful prayers to its characters.
– GrodsCorp, Australia ★★★★★

The Host
I gushed about this movie when I saw it but little did I know the entire post, including references to Bicycle Pump Man (BPM) would be lifted verbatim and reproduced on an Asian movie website.