Bobby Kennedy’s favourite quotation was “Some men see things as they are and ask why; I dream of things that never were and ask why not?”. So it must be for Grods regular Bruce, who only posits the biggest challenges resident in our society:

I think that young guys really need to stop focusing on trying to get laid.

Jessie Christie walked on water, Moses parted the Red Sea … and Bruce wants to stop young males thinking with their dicks. The gauntlet has been thrown down to Grods readers to provide more Herculean labours for Bruce to proclaim. The winner receives dinner with MK, an envelope containing Hap’s true identity and a lifetime supply of imported Queensland semi-colons.

GrodsReader Bruce has finally embraced the cult of the Fleshlight and written a lovely ditty to celebrate this amazing video movie.

Sung to the tune of…

The Lady with the Fleshlight Mouth

She has a humourous sex-toy
She uses while filming a shot,
when your topic is heading south,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth.

Dubbing in some shady lean-to,
or working with Fred somewhere,
if you’re looking for a lady with routh,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth.

Lube is required whenever she’s hired,
it’s applied just before the reel.
No doll can catch her, no latex will match her,
for her fake human feel.

One cheesy shot means another jipped sucker,
Has forked over their cash,
for a price, she’ll head down south,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth.

Her eye may be on your or me,
Who will she film?
We shall see. Oh yeah!

Lube is required whenever she’s hired,
it’s applied just before the reel.
No doll can catch her, no latex will match her,
for her fake human feel.

One cheesy shot means another jipped sucker,
Has forked over their cash,
If you want someone to head down south,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth

She has such routh
She’ll film down south
With her fleshlight mouth.

007 will come again return…