YESTERDAY Afternoon

Posted by Scott on Wednesday 15 July 2009
Categories: Media  Tags: Tags: , ,

Andrew Bolt notes with alarm the demise of Channel Nine program THIS Afternoon after only fourteen days on air.

THISafternoon axed by Nine. First Hey Hey goes and now this. Sure, you have ratings, BUT AT WHAT PRICE??!

But is it any wonder the plug was pulled when the two hosts have smiles as appallingly and frighteningly fake as these?

The longer you look, the more evil they appear

Tracy + Gordon = $$$$$

Posted by Bridgit Gread on Wednesday 10 June 2009
Categories: Entertainment, Media, Politics  Tags: Tags: , , , , ,

You have to chuckle at the ludicrous three-way ping-pong being played between Channel Nine, News Limited and Gordon Ramsay. No greater triumvarite of self-promoters ever crossed swords, yet since the weekend they seemed to have captured the attention of the gullible masses. We’ve had parental complaints about Ramsay’s bad language in front of their children at his live Melbourne show (a bit like going to Perisher and complaining about the snow). We’ve heard to-and-fro-ing between Ramsay and Tracy Grimshaw, the mournful talking-head who is the ‘victim’ of Ramsay’s ‘attacks’. We’ve seen the ubiquitous Youtube footage and tut-tutting from just about every rent-a-quote in Melbourne.

It’s my contention that this whole thing is an American wrestling-style beat-up, dreamed up on-the-wire by Ramsay’s agents, PR suits and Channel Nine. It is all geared at whipping up publicity for Ramsay and his programmes, once hot property for Nine but since flagging in the ratings. Others with a working knowledge of the media concur. Ramsay’s public persona is that of a crass, boorish and foul-mouth yobbo, but he is nobody’s fool. Grimshaw, once a real journalist, is now little more than a network puppet. If she was truly aggrieved by Ramsay’s ‘attack’ then she should raise the question of why her employer ran two hours of his TV shows last night – after, of course, yet another ACA re-hash of Tracy vs. Gordon – when Nine might instead support her by suspending them Chaser-style.

Today the Herald Sun went even further with a gutter-delving implication that Ramsay might well be gay. The ‘evidence’ of this, says the Spun, is a 15-year-old caution stemming from drunken nakedness and tomfoolery in a Tube station toilet – because as we all know, every canned-up young bloke who gets his kit off or flops out his shrivelled manhood must “bat for the other team”.  For additional confirmation of Ramsay’s dubious sexuality they went to his embittered, press-savvy former lover – who is, wait for it, female. Further comment was also sought from two of Ramsay’s arch-rivals, who had nothing of note to add other than that noting that Ramsay “looks like a cross between Patrick Swayze and a ventriloquist’s dummy”. A very shaky house-of-cards indeed and one that would, on any other day, never get past Murdoch’s in-house lawyers.

None of this concerns me too much: commercial TV and its stars will always play contrived games of cross-promotion and draw in the celebrity-obsessed masses when they do. What bothers me is the completely inappropriate involvement of our political leaders. Kevin Rudd, now so populist that he comments on just about every non-political matter raised at pressers, referred to Ramsay as “low life”. Julia Gillard more pithily advised him to ”stay in the kitchen” and make “nice things for people to eat” - good advice that Jules and Kev might want to follow themselves by confining themselves to matters of government. Their attempt to extract votes by tapping into a public ‘issue’ that is, at best, wildly exaggerated and, at worst, fabricated cheapens politics and insults those whose concerns run deeper than a foul-mouthed chef and a nondescript TV host.

Temptation deflation

Posted by Bridgit Gread on Tuesday 3 June 2008
Categories: Television  Tags: Tags: , ,

Last night I skipped off work early to audition for Temptation, that showy half-hour TV quiz with Lavinia Nixon and the guy with the big teeth. My observations are hereafter recorded for posterity:

There is very little in the way of parking around the Nein studios… I had to tuck the truckster away in the seedy backstreets of Richmond (and when I returned there was an empty Wild Turkey and cola can on my bonnet… erggh). Probably about 80-90 people attended, most of them men, and we all did a sifting quiz so we could dispense with the slightly less-informed (i.e. Herald Sun readers).

Said quiz was pretty tough, lots of history and literature questions luckily so I did pretty well. I did not know George Michael’s follow-up album to Faith, nor did I know who Gnarles Barkley were. I am quite happy not knowing such things. But I did know the stuff that counts, like African countries, Wordsworth, Prometheus, the United Nations and Bob Hawke. My score was 36/50; the pass mark was 27. It was the kind of quiz I would expect Grods regulars to sail through. Except perhaps John Surname.

Approximately 30 of the audience progressed to the next stage and the next couple of hours was taken up with each of us doing the self-monologue thing. Lots of life stories, travel yarns and amateur stand-up routines. Expected this to result in nipple-crippling boredom but they were quite an interesting group. Except for the tax accountants and the lawyers, but that’s a given. Highlight for me was the young chap who worked for Telstra, resplendent in 80s denim, bottle-thick glasses, a pink t-shirt and tight black cardigan barely reaching down to his navel. He looked like an even nerdier version of Bill Gates, though I suspect he may have been overplaying the geek thing to get on the show.

The whole thing ended on a flat note when the woman running the gig informed us that they weren’t actually filming any Temptation episodes at the moment but, if they need us, we’ll get a call. WHAT?!!?! A good four hours out of my evening auditioning for a show that isn’t even being shot?? What a waste. Luckily there’s a good pub nearby in Swan Street.

Michael Slater

Posted by Scott on Thursday 4 January 2007
Categories: The Ashes '06/07  Tags: Tags: , , , ,
Shut the fuck up

1) I want you to comment on the cricket I am watching, not constantly refer to your own playing days
2) I hate cliches and metaphors but hate them even more when they’re mixed and mangled
3) I enjoy listening to calm and modulated voices, not incomprehensible screeching at the slightest hint of action
4) Your jokes are really, really, really, unfunny
5) I know the rest of the Channel Nine commentary team is horribly biased but at least they make a cursory effort to hide it

Any others, readers?



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