Comedy gold from he of the ever-expanding head, Collingwood Football Club president Eddie “Boney M” McGuire, addressing his troops in the wake of the recent drink-driving scandal involving key players Heath Shaw and Alan Didak:

On Monday (Eddie) McGuire lectured Collingwood players about their responsibilities and highlighted how much sacrifice club officials, including himself, had made.

It is believed Mr McGuire indicated being president had cost him “four or five” Gold logies.

My valve!