Stop the presses! All is well in the Liberal Party.

Christopher Pyne is full of confidence for the future:

Mr Pyne’s monologue - proclaimed in a voice many decibels louder than the hubbub in the dining room at the Jewel of India - made it clear he regarded his leader’s Gippsland strategy as a joke.

“Gippsland will be our Aston!” Mr Pyne declared theatrically.

Good for you, Liberals! You do your darndest to win that by-election!

“First Gippsland, then the Lodge!” Mr Pyne continued, parodying his leader.

That’s the spirit!

It was impossible for anyone else in the crowded restaurant, including this reporter, not to overhear Mr Pyne’s remarks, so loudly were they delivered.

It’s terrific that Pyne is so full of confidence and enthusiasm! Why, he wants to share it with an entire restaurant! He wants to share it with the nation!

Never stop your good work, Christopher Pyne. Your party needs more men like you.

Thanks to Steve.

The Editor, John Surname, Ant Rogenous, Chuck A. Spear, Keri and Craig discuss:

* Let’s Cook! With Craig
* Mardi Gras
* John Howard
* Gay marriage
* Kevin Rudd’s razor gang
* Carers’ allowance
* Joe Hockey’s arse
* Young Liberals
* Left wing bias in education
* Christopher Pyne
* Nick Minchin
* Andrew Laming
* Brendan Nelson
* Hire A Hubby
* Masculinity
* SNAGs

** Because there’s still a blockage in the (inter)tubes use only the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 

 GrodsThink 7 (11/3/08) [30:45m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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GrodsCorp can today exclusively reveal that the Liberal Party has been acquired by Australian company Southern Star Endemol, producers of Australian Idol and Big Brother. Southern Star Endemol have been tasked with breathing life into a tired old format and have hit the ground running with two bold initiatives.

1) Party leader selected by popular vote
Under a proposal supported by you’ve-got-to-be-kidding leadership aspirant, Christopher Pyne, every Liberal Party member will get to vote for the leader of the Party. Members will need to SMS the first name of their preferred candidate (e.g. WILSON) to a 1900 phone number for 55 cents. It is believed that many strongly anti-Liberal voters are considering taking out a Liberal Party membership just so they can play their small part in electing to the leadership somebody completely unelectable (e.g. BRENDAN).

2) Audience participation during Question Time
Fresh from cheapening Parliament by using the Kardboard Kevin incident to accuse the ALP of cheapening Parliament by sitting on Fridays, the Liberal Party is further cheapening Parliament by opening it up to anyone who wants a crack. The Liberal Party website has a page where punters can submit questions that they’d like Brendan Nelson or another clown to ask of the government. Some commentators have noted that MPs are elected to think of these questions themselves and if they can’t even manage that then they deserve their sub-polar Newspoll ratings.

In line with GrodsCorp’s official policy of endorsing the most hopeless candidates for leadership positions within the coalition in order to further weaken it, I got a sudden rush of adrenaline when I saw the following headline on the ABC News Online front page tonight.

If only it were true.

And in other Liberal Wake Party news, does anyone else think that Christopher Pyne is the conservative version of Simon Crean? Let’s hope he gets up too.