Tossing and turning in my bed last night, I had an epiphany – why doesn’t GrodsCorp use its blogging reach for good? Why always so down on the Liberal party? It’s the Leftist way to support the underdog, and there is no bigger underdog than Christopher Pyne.

It’s not just that his website is at the lamely rhyming www.pyneonline.com, or that the first thing that assaults you on the site is a pop-up box demanding that you keep in touch, and totally friend him on Facebook. It’s clear he needs help. He wants to be leader, but he’ll never do it on his own.
Malcolm Turnbull hasn’t helped things by handing him a dud portfolio like Shadow Minister for Education, Training and Apprenticeships. Turnbull is obviously threatened by Pyne’s oration skills and animal magnetism, and why shouldn’t he be? Pyne is the only sitting member of Parliament with the ability to grab the Liberal party by the balls and return it to its former glory – you know, lying about asylum seekers throwing children overboard, sending us off to war based on phoney evidence, putting value back in the pound, that sort of thing.
So right now I would to announce my campaign to make Christopher Pyne leader of the Liberal party. He deserves it, and Australia needs it.
What you can do:
Write letters: write letters to all the major newspapers talking up Christopher Pyne’s record of whatever it that he does. Be sure to mention his steely glances and come-hither stare.
Send emails: Set up fake Christopher Pyne email address and badger Turnbull by email. Chances are he won’t tell the difference and will crumble instantly.
Join the Young Libs: For no other reason than the active social life (their Get Smart series 3 fundraiser was a huge success).
Phone talkback radio and repeat what you wrote in your newspaper letters. Chances are Alan Jones will hang up on you, but don’t let that stop you phoning in again under a Mexican pseudonym. If he tries to hang up again cry “racism!”.
Together, GrodsReaders, we can return the Liberal party to its glory days.











1) Party leader selected by popular vote
2) Audience participation during Question Time

