When I called my new ISP this morning to check on the progress of my intertubes connection the man said, “Ergh, ummm, ergh, probably the seventh.”

And here’s what the ISP’s connection status page said about my intertubes connection at 1:45pm this afternoon.

They’re making this up as they go along.

UPDATE (3:50pm): The website was telling the truth. I’m online!!1!

Last night it was a bit dark in the house so I decided to turn on a light. The switch looked like this.

So I reached out and did this…

…and the switch looked like this.

The whole process (decision to turn light on > stand up > walk across room > flick switch) took less than ten seconds. It wasn’t very hard at all and it didn’t cost me any money.

Last week I decided to have a different company pipe the intertubes into my house so I got on the phone and ordered it. Deep inside the bowels of a Brunswick red brick building that houses a telephone exchange is a switch that currently looks like this.

Apparently it takes five to seven working day for a technician to get off his or her arse and do this…

…so that the switch looks like this.

Plus it costs $75. First world telecommunications, my arse.

(Mind you, it’s kind of cool blogging from a cafe with free wi-fi, loud, funky music and lattes on call.)