Thanks to the marvellous half-hour long advertisements on late night television, in particular DanozDirect, I am so bloody tempted to whip out my already-maxed-out credit card and buy this thing called ‘9 Minute Marinator’, a kitchen gadget that promises ‘Moist, Plump & Flavorful foods in 9 minutes!’ Even Beth on the site loves it because she has a very small kitchen and - get this - a lot of people running through it. I know marathons can make you hungry but this is ridiculous. As for Chef Stacey, she says that they do a lot of experimenting and it has been wonderful. Well, I am glad to hear that, because I’ve been getting none whatsoever.

I don’t really need it, especially since lately I’ve been taking the easy option of getting takeaway on my way home from work instead of cooking.

But OH! How cool is this gadget?! NINE MINUTES!!! It means that I could marinate stuff and STILL cook my dinner within an hour at most. It means that I might stop getting takeaway. It means that I’ll save money on all the takeaway I don’t buy. It means that my food will be tasty and delicious, thus reducing the need for takeaway. It means that I will have finally grown up and become a responsible, practical adult, instead of a lazy git who wastes money on fast food.

Hold on. Grown up? Responsible? Practical? Adult?

Oh, goody. I’ve just talked myself out of buying it. Phew. That was precariously close. Who would wanna be a grown up? They are such boring fuddy duddies.

Additional thought: Perhaps Craig could use this gadget in his next cooking instalment? God only knows, his culinary possibilities could be endless.