Well, thanks for making it hard to pick a winner, people. No one bribed me and I have been forced to select winners for third, second and first place with no help whatsoever. This is not how we on teh Left operate!!!!11!!

Here was the picture:

Here are the winners:

In third place is Ray Dixon with this apt interpretation of Costello’s expression:

“Why me?” Peter Costello takes umbridge at being forced to sit next to the corpse at the State funeral.

Ray would have made it into second place if only he had spelled “umbrage” correctly. Never mind, better luck next time, Ray.

In second place is Ross with this spot-on observation about Peter Costello’s balls:

Former Prime Minister and Member for Bennelong John Howard cops a quick, discrete feel and is happily reassured that former Treasurer Peter Costello is still missing both testicles.

Similar to Ray, Ross would have made it into first place if only he had used the correct “discreet” instead of “discrete”. Never mind, better luck next time, Ross.

Finally, in first place is Bridgit Gread, for getting all teh speeling n grammer rite:

Leads for Australian re-make of Rain Man announced.

Unfortunately, I haven’t come up with a prize or anything, Bridgit, so never mind, better luck next time.

Honourable mentions go to: Wah, Idlaviv, Ron, Magic Bellybutton, Bruce, Tim, keri from her phone, Prophet, John Surname, Dam Buster of Preston, Andy B and Mikey. Who are all, of course, everyone else who contributed a caption.

Commendations for making observations and other comments go to: Jeremy, Bridgit Gread, joe2 and The Editor.

Thank you, all. Now piss off (unless you have a belated bribe).

UPDATE: Since the third place winner, Ray Dixon, is being an ungrateful wrench, I have decided to use my powers to knock him off the perch and place the runner up into third place instead.

Wah, take your spot on the third place perch (and don’t fuckin’ complain), for your caption entry:

Peter Costello remains tight lipped as John Howard denies all knowledge of appalling fart in church.

See what happens when no one offers bribes?

If former dynamic duo John Howard and Peter Costello have buried the hatchet since their famous post-election spat, they were still doing their best to hide it yesterday.

The occasion was the state funeral for former Victorian premier Lindsay Thompson at St Paul’s Cathedral in Melbourne.

[source]

Still?

Get over it, boys. Feel free to rip each other’s eyes out.

OK, folks, caption it.

Best caption and runner-ups announced sometime Monday evening 28 July 2008. (Bribes happily accepted)

Remember how Jim Schembri slagged off bloggers and then started a blog? You may also be aware that last week he slagged off jazz and then within a few days became a jazz fan.

Jim yesterday announced that he is taking a “short break” from his “journalism” and blogging duties. Let’s hope he makes it a long break. A really long break.

Jim Schembri wearing his trademark smug, shit-eating grin

What’s the bet that this one gets reported around the world as a “them crazy Aussies” story instead of an “another argument for compulsory sterilisation” story? And what’s the bet it raises chuckles and toasts of “nice one, mate” from drunken bogan males around this country?

Police in Alice Springs say they were appalled to find a driver put a seatbelt around a carton of beer – but left a five-year-old child unrestrained.

Officers stopped the unregistered sedan on the Ross Highway south of Alice Springs on the weekend.

They found the child sitting in the back seat without a seatbelt, but the driver had put a belt around a slab of beer.

UPDATE: Of course, only Andrew Bolt can take a story like this and imply that it was one of them degenerate Abodiginals without a scrap of information to support his theory.