Andrew Bolt gets all teary when naughty people criticise Malcy and not Kevvie. Bolta doesn’t like it when evil journalists form opinions, based on experience, analysis and other journalistic shit, that make Malcy and the Liberals look silly.

The Canberra press pack had a quick count of heads and declared the public hated Malcolm Turnbull’s plan to block Kevin Rudd’s $42 billion spending spree.

See, it’s the journalists who are wrong here and not Malcy. These journalists wouldn’t know public sentiment if it spat in their faces. Andy, on the other hand, has his finger on the pulse of middle Australia from the comfort of his air conditioned tenth floor office at Southbank. (Sometimes Bolt even goes for coffee in the food hall and he sees heaps of plebs ordinary people while he hurries through with a hanky over his nose.) Bolta provides six examples of journalistic anti-Malcy sentiment, five of which come from the “hard left” Fairfax and ABC, with the remaining example from News Limited’s Courier Mail.

Michelle Grattan, The Age:
(The Opposition) expects its stand to be immediately unpopular — getting between the public and buckets of money could hardly be anything else… Turnbull did not make a very convincing argument …

Mark Colvin, AM:
You (the Liberals) are standing between a large section of the Australian middle class and a bucket of money. As you say, it’s not going to be popular.

Dennis Atkins, Courier Mail:
The Coalition’s hardline stand was cheered by the parties’ MPs, who saw it as getting the debate back to their “strong suit of economic management”. This may happen eventually but in the short-term they’ve dealt themselves out of the argument.

Tony Wright, The Age:
It brought to mind the image of the band playing uplifting tunes on the deck of the Titanic… (O)verwhelming approval and applause would likely be scarce in the streets for anyone attempting to deny the promised largesse.

Peter Hartcher, Sydney Morning Herald:
MALCOLM TURNBULL has decided to arrange himself casually on the railway tracks in front of the onrushing Rudd money train… It’s a bid for relevance on a point of irrelevance… At worst, it is an act of suicidal braggadocio.

Annabel Crabb described the scenes in Parliament when her colleagues heard the news:
Commentators gasped. Ladies fainted. The weak of heart covered their eyes… Indeed, debate raged around Parliament House yesterday about the political implications of Tarzan’s actions. Was he committing political suicide? Was this an incredibly beady-eyed act of political cynicism…?

After comprehensively proving perncious lefty groupthink with these examples, Bolta moves on to a much more authoritative gauge of public sentiment than journalists: online polls run by newspapers.

But much of the public seems, so far, to have failed to read the script written for it by the Canberra media.

The Herald Sun’s on-line poll has 53 per cent of more than 11,000 votes agreeing with Turnbull. The Australian poll has an already healthy 47 per cent of people saying he’s right to want to wait.

These are the same polls that ask hard-hitting questions (such as today’s Hun pearler: “Has red carpet fashion gone too far?”) and collate reliable statistics from a representative cross-section of the community.

But hang on, isn’t there an Age poll on the same question that should be included in Bolt’s analysis for fairness?

True, The Age poll is wildly against Turnbull, but if you believed all The Age wrote you’d think Rudd a saint and all who doubted him deserved hell.

And this man has the balls to call himself a journalist.

Peter Costello went on the telly the other night to criticise the Rudd Government’s handling of the economic crisis.

Peter Costello has declared the Rudd Government is “rattled” by the global financial crisis, saying the stimulus package is a “poor-quality spend” that would not shift the economy.

The former treasurer accused Labor of undermining rather than adding to economic confidence, and said he would have been talking up its strength if he were still in office.

And here’s the thing: Petey could be leader of the Opposition right now if he could only stop sulking long enough to say “yes”. When the most experienced and senior member of the Parliamentary Liberal Party is so petulant he refuses to lead his troops, instead slinking off to the backbenches to snipe and sulk, he loses the right to say what he’d do if he was in office.

Peter Costello: fuck off.

Poor widdle Malcy got a bit grumpy the other day when Kev went on the telly and refused to gild the lily with the nation, so he’s gone out and made his own widdle dinky-di video that is on YouTube thanks to rejection by the ABC, SBS, Channels 7, 9, 10 and 31. You see, Malcy hates it when he’s not the centre of attention.

In the video, Malcy blames the current financial crisis on overseas mortgage thingies, and says that the previous government built a strong economy that Kev’s now jeopardised by ignoring warning signs since the beginning of this year. You see, everything started to go wrong on 25 November 2007; before that date everything was fine and dandy.

Malcy also repeats his offer to work in a bipartisan manner with Kev, even though Malcy’s party lost the ability to offer shit on 24 November last year. And anyway, the way that Malcy’s been talking about bipartisanship this week indicates that Malcy’s bipartisanship means that the government has to do what the opposition says. What a bizarre little man.

For the rest of the video Malcy tries to justify his tactic of supporting the government’s stimulus package, while at the same time criticising it.

These points, combined with the absolutely laughable attempt at gravitas and statesman-like stature, makes Malcy look like a total goose. It’s an excellent video. Five stars, Margaret.