Unlike some bloggers, I do not consider myself “as educated as it is possible to be“. That’s why I was looking today for some avenues to self-improvement on the Illawarra WEA’s site today.  Naturally, I headed straight for the “Barista” section, thinking that even a “silvertail leftist” could afford to save a few quid by brewing at home with the Gaggia.  But even I was shocked to find a course offered under the title of “Latte Art”. The description alone may well get wingnuts burning torches outside the gates of  ”Illawarra Innovation Campus” and hurling stones at its curvelinear glass facade:

What defines a good coffee in today’s cafe society? Of course you need to have good espressos and silky, textured milk but it doesn’t stop here. To achieve excellence in your lattes, put some art on top! This class is designed to teach participants the various techniques involved in creating the perfect latte art. A pre-requisite is that participants must have completed the Coffee Appreciation course or are experienced in creating a consistent crema

So readers, in the interests of my political education and morning alertness, should I enrol?  What about my lack of prerequisites? And should I  keep a course journal for GrodsCorp? The decision is yours.

Ant reported earlier on Andrew Bolt’s ejaculative response to John Howard’s Irving Kristol lecture in the USA. Since then Bolta has added a few updates to his text, closing his second update with this sentence.

Missing him already.

Get a room, you two.

I’ve been having a read of the full text of Howard’s speech and it’s quite interesting to see how much hubris and arrogance this man has despite spending eleven years in office telling us he has none of either. Oh, and he’s still a dickhead.

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A primary school teacher responds to John Howard’s claim at the Liberal campaign launch that “Australia does not need an education revolution. Australia needs an education system that teaches its children to read, to write, to spell and to add up.”

They’re replaying edited highlights (or lowlights, as the case may be) of the Liberal campaign launch on ABC. Here are my thoughts…

* JHo: “My fellow Australians.” Spew.
* JHo: “This election is about the future… despite how great the past is.” It always comes back to the past doesn’t it, John?
* Costello: “Economic storm clouds on the horizon that will increase inflation, interest rates and unemployment. But we will decrease inflation, interest rates and unemployment.”
* JHo: “Family is the cornerstone of society.” And that’s why you’re force-feeding middle class welfare pork down families’ throats, despite Australia “no longer being a welfare state.”
* Vaile: Sorry, missed that. Went to sleep.
* Abbot: Is doing his interview in the rain holding an umbrella that has stars and moons all over it. Bwah hah hah!
* JHo: “We will give you nine billion bucks to bribe you to vote for us. Um, actually, what I mean is education, child care, Great Australian Dream and other stuff like that. Family, family, family.”
* Howard, never one to attract the term “charismatic”, is actually looking (if it’s possible) less charismatic than normal. He looks about as inspiring as the flotation ball inside my toilet cistern.
* JHo: “New homeowners shouldn’t pay for infrastructure that benefits them and the wider community.” So you’ll make those homeowners pay through their tax payments instead, John? This is appalling policy.
* Julie Bishop is on the telly telling me that parents have the right to choose the quality of their kids’ schools. And what sort of choice do parents have when state schools are desperately underfunded, Julie?
* JHo to the rescue — he’s going to make independent school fees tax deductible. Problem fixed then.
* JHo: “Fees and levies that have crept into the public school system.” Why do you think public schools have to charge those fees and levies, you great, fucking cockhead of a man?
* JHo: “Indigenous intervention has brought to an end 20-30 years of problems.” I think it’s been going on longer than that, John. Also, you had ten-and-a-half years to fix it before that — why didn’t you?
* JHo: “To continue to decide who comes to this nation.” Anyone but those dirty, fightin’ Sudanese if Kevin Andrews has anything to do with
* Downer: “If the terrorists win there will terrible consequences.” Dickhead.
* JHo: “Tough on drugs.” Ruddock just appeared on screen to back up Howard’s words. He looks as ghoulish as ever.
* Kevin Andrews: “We must protect our way of life.” Your way of life is nothing like mine, Kev, so stop trying to impose yours upon me via Parliament. Get your rosaries off my ov… um, testicolies.
* JHo: “UNIONS! UNIONS! UNIONS! COAST-TO-COAST LABOR! BOO!”
* The closing music sounds like the elevator muzak you hear over the top of 1980s telemovies on Channel Seven at midday.

Watching that made me feel genuinely sick. The sun will shine on Australia if the coalition is no longer in charge on 25 November.

Nothing — and I mean nothing — brings more of a sinking feeling to my gut than these words:

“Australia does not need an education revolution. Australia needs an education system that teaches its children to read, to write, to spell and to add up”

Lachlan Connor has announced that he will release a policy each day for the rest of this week, ahead of a trip to Canberra on the weekend to “soak up the democracy.” I wonder if he’s going to drop into Fyshwick to soak up anything else?

Here is Lachlan’s first policy release for the week: education.