The Editor, John Surname, Ant Rogenous, Jeremy Sear, Prophet and Craig discuss:

* Computers, the English language, and the decay of society
* Music piracy and iPods through customs
* Greeks and anal sex
* Funniest things on the intertubes (read: A Western Heart)

** Because the dilithium crystals and the flux capacitor are broken, use only the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 GrodsThink 26 (29 July 2008) [41:07m]: Play in Popup | Download

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Remember the charming bigot whose letter in mX the other day got so many GrodsReaders’ blood boiling? Well imagine my surprise when I was on the train last night on the way to GroupthinkFC’s latest courageous defeat and I saw this.

I was scratching my head about who this pen-wielding GrodsReader might be until I got to soccer and Jeremy was grinning from ear to ear.

So now we must turn our attention to Olivia of Camberwell who wrote this.

DOWN WITH PC NONSENSE

Good on Steve. It takes guts to say something that might offend a minority. We are an English-speaking country — to get a citizenship you should be able to speak our language.

Have at it, GrodsReaders.

I have to credit Ant Rogenous for bringing this story to my attention after he burst into the GrodsThink record last night straight off the tram, mX clutched in sweaty palms, eyes wide open, exclaiming that he’d found the most awesome-est letter ever to be published in Australia’s least newsey newspaper. After the GrodsThink record we all slapped our foreheads and cursed our stupidity for not discussing the letter so I’ll take this opportunity to steal Ant’s thunder and publish it. Why is it an awesome letter? Well, besides from the most appallingly discriminatory views on disenfranchising Australians, the author says it. He actually says it.

DIVERSITY HAS ONE MAIN LANGUAGE

After visiting the Victorian Electoral Commission website I was appalled at all the non-English support there.

Australia is an English-speaking country — the end.

If people are going to become citizens and then vote, at the very, very least they should be able to speak our language sufficiently to understand the issues.

If we have to convert everything to Somali or whatever, we are allowing people to vote who have not even made the most basic commitment to this country.

There are 20 languages on the site, and I know that each only provides a superficial overview, but I wonder why?

I don’t want anyone, regardless of citizenship status, voting if they can’t speak English well enough to understand the issues.

I’m appalled that people who are not sufficiently committed to Australia to learn English are forced to vote.

I love Australia’s multiculturalism.

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE not of Anglo-Saxon stock, and we are about where the US was 200 years ago — a great developing country finding its way with people from all over the world forming its core.

But at that core is a fundamental issue — the language. The US has given up the fight and 48 of the 50 states now produce almost everything in both English and Spanish.

Learning English should be free and mandatory.

People come here expecting that they’ll be able to continue their lives exactly as they were. It’s not that simple and we shouldn’t be making it that easy for them.

– Steve, Melbourne

The Editor, John Surname, Ant Rogenous, Jeremy Sear and Billybob discuss:

* Religious intolerance in Camden
* Kevin Rudd’s “butler” and work ethic
* Amazonian lost tribes
* Campayn to modernis Inglish speling
* Andrew Landeryou

** Because Craig is on the internet at home even though he told us he was sick, use only the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 GrodsThink 19 (3 June 08) [34:01m]: Play in Popup | Download

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It’s Tuesday and the latest episode of Lachlan Connor, Independent is nowhere to be seen. In fact, I’ve been largely absent from this website recently with almost zero posts or comments in my name over the last week. But, Jesus, it’s been busy at work. I’m afraid that report writing will cause Lachlan to be a few more days yet; perhaps next week due to Jacob Billybob’s wedding on Friday. But in the meantime I urge you to go read the transcript of a great Radio National Perspective in the context of those bloggers who try to excuse their poor English by crapping on about the language being a “living, evolving creature.”

The English language is a living, breathing, constantly evolving beast. As exciting as this is for many of us, we must recognise the difference between new words, expressions and ways of communicating, and incorrect grammar bred from laziness, ignorance and stupidity.

Six weeks ago I highlighted the toxic stylings of Age hack Chris Johnston, suggesting that he might not want to quit his day job in order to pursue a career as a novelist. A quick reminder of his try-hard atmospheric writing for those who missed it (those prone to nausea should skip the next blockquote):

IT IS that time of year again. The tennis circus is here. It is all about Kooyong and then the Australian Open. More than half a million spectators will pack these compact, intimate arenas from today. The sun will beat down. The little bouncy balls will rocket around. And the players — the greatest players — will leap across the hard green of the court with their straining racquets to reach them. As the roar goes up. Then the hush. The tennis hush.

This afternoon, after executing a vanity Google search, Chris left a comment at the original post:

thanks you so much for your erudite, analytical, reasoned feedback. it’s obvious you are a media expert and also deeply familiar with the workings of The Age. again - thanks.

Just to clarify, I think that Chris has made a ham-fisted attempt at sarcasm there. You see, when he says thankyou even though he’s deeply offended it’s obviously sarcastic. However, I have no idea why his references to my supposed media expertise and familiarity with the inner workings of The Age have anything to do with anything. As long as he feels cleansed and vindicated by writing it.

Revealing of a deeper problem is Chris’ inability to use capital letters at the start of sentences. This is a man who uses words like erudite and analytical when trying to show off, so such a simple thing (press the freakin’ SHIFT key) shouldn’t be beyond him. I mean, he’s obviously a blog expert and is deeply familiar with the workings of GrodsCorp so he should know that we don’t employ sub-editors to correct his stream-of-consciousness sub-cadet quality typing.