Just. Shut. Up.

Posted by Scott on Wednesday 1 October 2008, 2:20 pm
Categories: Entertainment, Politics  Tags: Tags: ,

Part of me dies whenever an actor or musician opens their big gob and selflessly tries to save a third world country in which they spent two weeks shooting a film or playing a gig while living in a first world trailer. Another part of me dies when an actor or musician opens their big gob and tries to solve a major world problem with a solution of stunningly stupid, Pauline Hanson-like simplicity, that tens of thousands of experts around the globe have spent months trying in vain to fix.

Although, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer fuckwit this time.

[Russell] Crowe announced his solution to America’s financial crisis during a TV interview with talkshow host Jay Leno on Monday night…

“I have been intently watching the political process,” Crowe told Leno.

“Um, so, here’s the thing: They’re looking for $700 billion, right? Which is a good chunk of change, but have you noticed whenever you go to a bank, or whenever you talk to a government department about what you need, they’ll never actually give you all of what you need? So, I don’t think we should do that for a start.

“But I was thinking if they wanna stimulate the economy, get people spending, let people look after their … mortgage.

“I think you take the first 300 million Americans, if that’s the population at this point in time, give everyone a million bucks.”

Stick to writing shit song lyrics, Rusty.

Buy an umbrella

Posted by Scott on Wednesday 1 October 2008, 11:25 am
Categories: Politics  Tags: Tags: ,

When it comes to finance and commerce and stock markets and all that shite I’m completely un-1337. So all of this “world markets in crisis” stuff at the moment is completely bemusing for someone who can barely manage their own budget. Like, I wake up yesterday morning and the papers tell me to be pessimistic and afraid. Then I wake up this morning and the papers tell me to be optimistic and comforted.

You gots to excuse n00bs like me for being a bit confused. So thanks be to Ceiling Cat that Malcolm Turnbull’s here to explain it all.

So nonetheless while there is a big storm out there, it is one that we can deal with. There is a big storm. We are in it. We will ride through it. We will get a bit wet and there will be some bumps along the way

[...]

Now it’s important, as I said, we are going into stormy waters.

I believe, I know, we all know, in this storm, in this financial storm we are going to get wet. We will get wet but we will not sink.

I loves me a good metaphor.



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