The extent of human ingenuity never ceases to amaze me. Nor does the extent of English language misspellings.

(Cheers, Damian!)

GrodsCommenter Jack Dorf, completely unprovoked, brought the official Fleshlight forum to our attention the other day and fellow commenter Krypto wryly noted that it was time to reset the “days since Fleshlight mention” GrodsClock. So given that I can safely post this now without being accused of breaking the unofficial GrodsCorp Fleshlight ban, here is a gem I found one day at Yahoo Answers during an intertubes walkabout.

But the best bits are in the “other answers” section.

Firstly, this chick is offering her services as a researcher and she can’t even type “fleshlight” into a search engine. Secondly, she’s going to regret asking that question.

“Masturation”? Sounds kinky.

Awwww. This guy’s a SNAG. Always thinking of the laydeez.

As I’m the new kid on the block, I figure the only way to get people to sit up and notice, well, me is to become an upstart right from the, er, start.

Knowing how important The Fleshlight (do a search if you’re new and have no idea what a Fleshlight is, there are plenty of boyish posts on it) is to the lads and the laddish louts who read this blog, I am hoping to upset delicate feelings by bringing in a new competition: The Penis Flash Light. (Yours for only $6!)

Of course, it’s doomed to failure. It just doesn’t have that same name that rolls off the tongue like “Fleshlight” does. (No gratuitous jokes about it literally rolling off the tongue, please, gentlemen).

If it had a sensible yet catchy name (submissions please), it might just be the next big thing. On GrodsCorp only, of course.

It’s the cartoon characters Nickelodeon rejects that make GrodsCharacters the best.

The Daily Telegraph today broke the story of 43-year-old Jeff Fenech’s ill-advised embarrassing shock boxing comeback, quoting the three-time world champion as saying:

“I’ve got three months to train and I’ll train like never before.”

In a GrodsCorp exclusive, we can reveal that he ain’t joking.

GrodsReader Bruce has finally embraced the cult of the Fleshlight and written a lovely ditty to celebrate this amazing video movie.

Sung to the tune of…

The Lady with the Fleshlight Mouth

She has a humourous sex-toy
She uses while filming a shot,
when your topic is heading south,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth.

Dubbing in some shady lean-to,
or working with Fred somewhere,
if you’re looking for a lady with routh,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth.

Lube is required whenever she’s hired,
it’s applied just before the reel.
No doll can catch her, no latex will match her,
for her fake human feel.

One cheesy shot means another jipped sucker,
Has forked over their cash,
for a price, she’ll head down south,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth.

Her eye may be on your or me,
Who will she film?
We shall see. Oh yeah!

Lube is required whenever she’s hired,
it’s applied just before the reel.
No doll can catch her, no latex will match her,
for her fake human feel.

One cheesy shot means another jipped sucker,
Has forked over their cash,
If you want someone to head down south,
the lady with the fleshlight mouth

She has such routh
She’ll film down south
With her fleshlight mouth.

007 will come again return…

The Editor, John Surname, Ant Rogenous, Jeremy Sear, Wah and Craig discuss the following:

* Blogging
* Kevin Rudd’s first 100 days
* The Liberal Party
* Brendan Nelson
* Interest rates
* Cricket
* The Herald Sun
* David Hicks
* Dick Smith
* Osama Bin Laden
* Prince Harry
* Connex
* Lynne Kosky
* Public transport
* Victorian Labor Party
* Fleshlight
* What is the plural of “penis”?
* Liberal leadership future

** I don’t know why but that bloody “Play now” link is still serving up episode four. I have no solution yet. Something to do with the intertubes broken or something. Just to be safe, use the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 

 GrodsThink 6 (4/3/08) [31:13m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 GrodsThink RSS feed

I’ve just noticed something extraordinary (albeit not too surprising) in the photo of Prodos from John Surname’s post below:

A Fleshlight!

Went to see Australia vs. India at the MCG yesterday and was astounded to see how far Cricket Australia is willing to go to tap new revenue streams. As usual there was advertising and cross-promotion everywhere from sponsorship of fours to ownership of the boundary rope. However, all of the companies represented on the pitch were extremely family friendly until the umpire called drinks.

When this came out.

Don’t bother with that Gatorade stuff; quench your cricket thirst with…

…a fleshlight.