There’s high excitement amongst Catholic Sydneysiders this week, as a mouldy old Italian cawpse comes to town:

The body of [inspirational Catholic] Pier Giorgio Frassati … has been transported from the Turin Cathedral to Sydney following a farewell mass. Mr Frassati was only 24 when, after a one-week illness, he died of polio.

On Wednesday at 12pm (AEST) his body will be transported to St Benedict’s Church in Chippendale in inner Sydney where it will remain in the church for veneration until July 10. The following Thursday his body will be moved to St Mary’s Cathedral for a pilgrimage. The coffin will remain on display in the cathedral until July 22.

The transportation of his remains was organised by Sydney Archbishop George Pell and World Youth Day co-ordinator Bishop Anthony Fisher in conjunction with the Vatican Council for the Causes of Saints. 

Frassati died in 1925 and was beatified in 1990, but you can’t hold old Frassa down: his corpse is embarking on an antipodean holiday more than 80 years after he turned up his toes and started to putrefy. 

Not since the most recent tour by the Rolling Stones (who, let’s face it, aren’t in much better condition) have Sydney’s Catholics been whipped into such a frenzy. Dem Frassati bones will be doing gigs in Sydney churches, book now at Ticketek. The visit will coincide with that other more animated bag-of-bones, Joe Ratzinger, formerly of the Hitler Yoof.

Frassati’s visit recalls memories of the High Middle Ages, when stupid pious Catholics trudged tirelessly around Europe trying to catch a glimpse of Saint Peter’s foreskin, Mary’s breastmilk or one of Christ’s arse-hairs left clinging to the true cross. Fortunately today we live in a more enlightened and scientific age, so stupid pious Catholics will now be able to catch public transport.

Criticisms of Frassati’s tour have been dismissed by Catholics, who suggest that cultist pilgrimages to the cadavers of long-dead saints are perfectly normal. It is unknown whether Sydney authorities will inspect Frassati’s remains for a silver tongue.