Two questions for youse GrodsReaders:

1) Bron’s Facebook status currently reads “Bron is.” What is it that Bron is? Finish the sentence for her.

2) John Surname’s Gmail status currently reads “Bizay, consistently and thourghly” (sic). What the hell is Surname on about?

This is the inane kind of group email chat that the GrodsTeam use to occupy their Friday mornings.

Chuck A. Spear: People who call me “champ” IRL piss me off to no end. Cunts.

John Surname: and “sport”.

Keri: I hate sweetheart or darl.

John Surname: and let’s not forget “gangsta”. Don’t ever call me that. I’ll fuck you up.

Keri: Or J-Dog.

Jeremy: I hate “sexy”.

Keri: Well if you will work in a strip-club, Jeremy.

John Surname: You must get sick of that one.

Jeremy: It’s not just at work, Keri.

John Surname: Tip to Jeremy - if you work in a nightclub, you will get hit on.

Jeremy: I’m considering changing fields a little, and going back to soliciting.

Keri: It must be so hard being you.

Discuss.

I don’t often glance at the Google ads by the side of my Gmail but this one caught my eye.

How could any self-respecting emo resist such a tempting offer?