Pernicious critics have recently been casting doubt on Big Joe Hockey’s ability to garner media coverage. Well put this in your crack pipe and smoke it, leftists.

The shadow treasurer, Joe Hockey, has three cats – Bridge-It, so-called because it was rescued from the Harbour Bridge, Bluey, rescued from a giant python in Far North Queensland, and Shirley, rescued from a dogs’ home.

“Bluey is affectionate and he is my man,” Mr Hockey said. “The other two are stand-offish but Bluey hangs out and you can have a conversation with him.

“I’ve also got a fish tank in my office. I had a very large fish called Big Kim. I felt as long as he was alive we had a chance of winning elections and, sadly, it’s still alive. I used to threaten my staff when I was away from Parliament that if Big Kim died so, too, might they.”

That’s right – only halfway down a lazy SMH puff-piece about politicians’ pets, Joe gets six sentences of clear air on the vital topic of stray cats and humorously-named goldfish. And best of all, it doesn’t even look like they rang Wayne Swan.

Watch out Ruddy – Joe’s coming.