Things that shit me #5: incorrect packing of supermarket purchases in bags.

I’m the first to admit that I’m a bit anal at times. There are certain things that I like ordered in a certain way and certain tasks that I like performed in a certain order. For instance, I have a very precise procedure for washing dishes and placing them in the drying rack that gives me no small amount of pleasure when I stand back and admire the end result.

I’m a freak.

But there are some things I’m anal about that I believe are for a very good reason. Packing groceries into a bag is one of them. When I take my shopping and my green bags to the checkout at the supermarket I go to an extreme amount of effort to carefully order the items for the cashier from heaviest to lightest (taking into account general fragility), so that 2L of milk doesn’t crush mushrooms and so on. The average checkout operator should be able to scan and pack my shopping in the order that it is presented to them without endangering the structural integrity of any of my purchased goods.

Like I said, I’m a freak.

But last night, after carefully ordering my groceries for the cashier, I was horrified when she reached over the top of the cans at the front of the queue and grabbed the bananas right at the back, dropping them carelessly into the empty green bag. Then she scanned a can of lentils and went to drop them on top of the bananas. I nearly went postal.

Trying very hard to calm myself I casually suggested that maybe the cans should go in first. So she took out the bananas, dropped a couple of cans in, scanned an avocado, dropped that it, and then went to scan some more cans. The reptilian part of my brain instructed me to strangle her but luckily the rational part took over and I instead told her through clenched teeth that I’d pack the bags myself.

Sometimes in life if you want something done properly…

In GrodsThink 10 we took a look at day one of Brendan Nelson’s Magical Listening Tour diary. Go have a listen, ya bastards. Day two of the diary is now online and just like day one it’s a bloody corker.

2 April 2008

Diary from the road:

The people at the pointy end of the economic debate in Australia talk about the Westpac-Melbourne Institute Survey of Consumer Sentiment being the lowest in 15 years or the Sensis survey having the largest fall on record for the March quarter, but you’ve just got to spend a bit of time at the Lowood service station to see Australians coming in with their cars – 10, 12, 15 years old – putting $5, $7 or $30 worth of petrol in the tank.

10 year olds putting petrol in their cars? But seriously, is Brendan seriously suggesting that since November 24 last year Australians have suddenly acquired decades-old cars and suddenly started putting small amounts of petrol in their tanks that align with the disposable cash they have access to? Out of touch, man.

And one lady I gave a hand to get some petrol into her car…

I bet she rooly, trooly appreciated being assaulted by a slimy politician at a servo in search of a photo opportunity.

…who put $30 in, was saying “gee, I really hope petrol comes down soon. I’ve got to buy groceries; we’ve got other commitments with the house and interest rates and so on”.

Don’t hold your breath, ma’am. Petrol’s not ever going in the down direction again.

But then going to the Woolies in Nundah, just going through talking to the shoppers and helping to bag the groceries…

Checkout operators in supermarkets generally have no trouble bagging groceries for themselves; and they do it without having to continually smile for a battalion of cameras.

I’m Brendan Nelson and I’m here to help

…you see a string of people, from sole parents with two or three kids, elderly people on fixed incomes, retirees, mothers that have got three kids to feed and a husband at work, and they’re really battling with their grocery prices.

Hasn’t Nelson just spent a couple of months bagging Rudd for talking about grocery prices? And anyway, like petrol it’s just an expense you’ve gotta deal with. Is this seriously the biggest policy challenge for our national government?

And, by the way, they’re not too happy about the idea of some sort of tax on plastic bags. Mr Garrett needs to go back and have a look at that one. Big time.

Whoa, Garrett — you’ve been pwned big time by Dr Nelson. Gauntlet thrown.

The other thing that’s really emerging as a big issue is the funding of aged care. I’ve had a number of people, not only in aged care facilities but also the facilities themselves and the operators who are very concerned about what the Government’s going to do with aged care funding in the Budget.

And what exactly did your government do for aged care funding in eleven long years, Brendan, besides from cash bribes immediately prior to elections?

And again, like the carers and disabilities issue for which I was thanked by people who are desperately in need on that lump sum carers payment, the providers are very concerned about what the Government’s going to do in the Budget for the funding of the care of our nursing home residents.

“For which I was thanked”? You’ve saved us again, Dr Nelson.

– Brendan Nelson

Stay tuned for day three of The Secret Diary of Brendan Nelson.