The people’s football club, GroupthinkFC, has been a deserving target of ridicule due to its string of poor results that make the Melbourne Demons look like a genuine premiership chance. But last night things began to change.

You see, the person at the sports centre who is in charge of grading made a monumental error when placing us in division three. Despite the awesome presence of our captain first-among-equals, Jeremy Sear, and the daunting confidence of Ant Rogenous and myself, this person at the sports centre graded us well beyond our actual ability. After our fourth humiliating defeat in a row Jeremy approached this person at the sports centre and firmly suggested that we should drop a few divisions — a suggestion that the person at the sports centre took on board after checking our results and breaking into hysterical laughter.

So last night the glorious GroupthinkFC ran onto the field as division twelve’s newest team and brought honour to the people by narrowly losing 5-4. Our five game plan seeks to ensure that by round ten we are consistent winners and that our prowess with the soccer ball has communicated our message of socialism for the people far and wide.

Stay tuned.

GroupThink FC losing yet another game

It’s clear by now that GroupThink FC are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. I’ve seen teams suck before, but Jesus…

8-3

19-2

18-0

It’s come to the point that they are not only embarrassing themselves, but embarrassing us by association, so I am setting up a petition to persuade GroupThink FC to stop playing indoor soccer, and take up a sport that they are more qualified to play. Like egg and spoon racing.

Please leave your signature below.

Yesterday I suggested that this week’s episode of GrodsThink would be online tomorrow and would be predominantly on the subject of the Blanchett Australia 2020 summit. Unfortunately it turns out that I was quoted out of context and I’d like to issue a clarification. The reality is that there won’t be a GrodsThink episode this week and I regret any misunderstanding that may have resulted from the incorrect reporting of my words.

You see, we normally record GrodsThink on Tuesday nights but had moved this week’s recording to tonight because I’m off to Cairns after work tomorrow. This arvo at 3pm Ant got in touch and said he had a headache or the consumption or something, Jeremy had previously expressed doubt at his ability to show up on time, and I was flat out at work and also feeling a bit flat and poorly. So we decided (between the three of us because J. Surname was uncontactable) that we’d kill this week’s episode and return refreshed next week. When I finally got Surname on the phone to tell him not to bother coming along he said not to worry because he didn’t even realise it was on.

This is the level of professionalism we’re talking about here, people.

Anyway, we do apologise to those listeners out there who enjoy the sound of smug leftists sitting around loving the sound of their own voices, but rest assured we’ll be back next week.

ps/- Our states of mind have nothing — absolutely nothing — to do with the fact that GroupthinkFC lost 18-0 yesterday morning.

GroupThinkFC, which An Onymous Lefty has ingeniously dubbed “The People’s Football Club”, played its second match last night and was annihilated by seven goals.

Now, at the risk of sounding like an apologist — but hey, some of my best friends are apologists — I’d just like to point out that we’re being prevented from playing at full strength by one significant factor: we still haven’t worked out how to play soccer.

Rest assured, though — once we’ve stopped picking up the ball and I’ve developed a better goal-defending strategy than this, the championship is more or less in the bag.

Last night The Editor, Jeremy Sear, myself and a handful of groupthinking communists likeminded bloggers began our campaign to take out, for the glory of Teh Left and David Hicks (peace be upon him), a suburban indoor soccer championship.

Our team name is, of course, GroupThinkFC, and the preliminary designs for our uniform have just come back from a Chinese sweatshop.

We’re hoping to have the shirts made up as soon as possible, so your thoughts and comments would be most appreciated — none of us has ever made a decision without the endorsement of Teh Left in its entirety, and we’re bloody well not about to start now.