You know mX’s Here’s Looking At You section (as famously subverted by Bron)? Well, I’d like to send out a GrodsCorp-style Here’s Looking At You shout-out to the goal shooter on the white team playing netball this evening at GroupthinkFC’s indoor sports stadium.

To the goal shooter with the blonde hair and the knockout chest pass. Maybe we can say hello at the vending machine next match?

– The Editor, GrodsCorp

Ant and Jeremy send a Here’s Looking At You shout-out to the centre on the same team.

To the tall brunette at the centre of our attention. We’d love you to be the centre of our lives.

– Ant and Jeremy, The Intertubes

Sorry, what’s that? You want to know GroupthinkFC’s score? Unfortunately I’m not at liberty to discuss that.

Everybody, give a loud cheer to that fantastic newspaper called mX. HOORAY!

Why?

Well, as some of you may remember, a couple of weeks ago I sat next to Gordon Gekko one morning on the train to work, and since I’d left my book at home, I was fascinated by the writing in his notepad, open on his lap, instead. Those notes kept me wildly entertained for the whole journey, even if it did cause some heartbreak in the end.

In the comments that followed, I was urged to track him down again and “read his notebook”, which would have been a very difficult thing to do (I can barely remember what he looks like, except for the hair slicked back). Then I (who else but wonderful me?) hit on the excellent idea of leaving a message in the “Here’s looking at you” letters section in that free rag distributed in the afternoons to commuters, mX.

Ant immediately followed my suggestion with his suggestion with what to submit. I duly agreed and submitted it to mX, with slight modifications.

Then waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Every single day, I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until TODAY! Thanks to Wah, who used his contacts and got the bloody letter published. I was so excited to see the letter published in the rag, that I nearly waltzed all the way down the tunnel to the train.

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on this:

OH SHAT! Wrong photo. That’s The Editor’s missing Gravatar.

This, look, this:

How good is that?! On the train home, I watched every person reading mX like a hawk, waiting to see the funny expressions on their faces that would no doubt surely follow. My lips were dry, my left leg kept shaking, my right hand twitching, my left ear squeaking.

Nothing. Blank faces. They didn’t care. They just did not care. I wanted to lean over and helpfully point to my letter and say, “Hey, look at that crazy letter. Crazy, innit?” But I didn’t. It felt weird to be able to see my name and Grods’ name and see the schmucks reading the letters and not even reacting. Of course, there’s a very strong probability that the letter meant nothing to them.

So, once again, dear readers, I regret to come to the conclusion that GrodsCorp has failed to set the world alight and hearts a-flutter.

Of course, I had nothing to do with it.