Meet the Liberal candidate for my own electorate, Pastor Peter Curtis:

If Pastor Peter’s jolly photoshoot persona isn’t enough to scare you, check out his views on homosexuality:

“As a Christian, I do not agree with the idea of homosexuality. That’s the reality. I can’t put it any other way,” Mr Curtis told The Sunday Age yesterday. “I certainly could never change my views that homosexuality is a perversion, because it is a perversion.”

Mr Curtis said his view that gay men were many more times likely to die from disease than heterosexuals was supported by several passages of scripture, and that he was simply stating the truth. “Homosexuality certainly does open up the door to things that are not helpful,” he said.

He’s also up to date with trends in education and science, and if elected may move to supplant Julie Bishop on the front bench:

He said that, if elected, he would be urging the Liberal Party to introduce intelligent design to state school science classes. Intelligent design is an assertion that certain features of the universe and living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, and not by natural selection.

“I would be very much in favour of intelligent design being taught in public schools,” Mr Curtis said. “Just as the theory of evolution is taught as well — in my view regrettably taught in science classes, because I think it’s a theory and not a science.”

Pastor Pete is running against Julia Gillard in Lalor. The Herald Sun told us earlier this month that Gillard is a baby-eating Maoist who wants to nationalise oxygen and force us all into gulags where the elderly will be pitchforked to death with rolled-up copies of Das Kapital. It neglected to mention that her direct opposition for the seat of Lalor is a bigoted homophobic creationist nutjob with a stark resemblence to the clown on the cover of Stephen King’s It. Purely an oversight, I’m sure.