The Labor government has announced its intention to ram 22 pieces of legislation through the House of Representatives this week, necessitating 10pm sittings of Parliament. The opposition, through Joe Hockey, has claimed that the rushed timetable will not allow sufficient debate of legislation enabling things such as FuelWatch and equal benefits for gaymosexual couples. The government, through Anthony Albanese, has hit back accusing the opposition of hypocrisy due to its habit under John Howard of doing the exact same thing with legislation covering areas such as industrial relations and asylum seekers.

I was highly critical of John Howard’s government when it dodged scrutiny and debate of its legislation by using its numbers to force it through Parliament as quickly as possible; it was anti-democracy and bad for Australia. But Labor using the primary school argument of “they did it first so we’re going to do it as well” makes a total mockery of Kevin Rudd’s pre-election rhetoric that his party would restore back to government the respectability that had been eroded during the Howard years.

Kevin Rudd and Labor should allow proper debate of their legislation in Parliament or else they risk lowering themselves to the democracy-hating levels that John Howard used to enjoy flirting with.

Making fun of the Liberal party seems to be the new national sport, Joe Hockey has complained.

[…]

“Will everyone please stop bashing up the Liberal Party at the moment,” he said.
(source)

“JUST LEAVE THE LIBERALS ALONE!!!!!!!!1!!!!!11!!!!1!!”

(With apologies to this internet legend and this internet legend person.)

The Editor, John Surname, Ant Rogenous, Chuck A. Spear, Keri and Craig discuss:

* Let’s Cook! With Craig
* Mardi Gras
* John Howard
* Gay marriage
* Kevin Rudd’s razor gang
* Carers’ allowance
* Joe Hockey’s arse
* Young Liberals
* Left wing bias in education
* Christopher Pyne
* Nick Minchin
* Andrew Laming
* Brendan Nelson
* Hire A Hubby
* Masculinity
* SNAGs

** Because there’s still a blockage in the (inter)tubes use only the “Play in popup” link or the “Download” link. **

 

 GrodsThink 7 (11/3/08) [30:45m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

 GrodsThink RSS feed

Now that I’ve done got me a MacBook and a wireless router I can access the intertubes from the comfort of the beanbag in my loungeroom. So here comes GrodsCorp’s minute-by-minute analysis of Peter Costello’s budget speech.

7:28pm – Story on ABC News about rhinos that won’t root at Werribee Open Range Zoo.

7:30pm – Bloody hideous opening graphics on ABC. Obviously produced with my eight cents for today but nobody else’s.

7:31pm – Pete forgot to get his assistant to check his tie.

7:32pm – Basically, before 1996 the economy was shit. but overnight (coincidentally the night Howard was elected) the economy got amazing.

7:33pm – Apparently we’ve got to look to the past to look to the future. Nice song lyric, but…

7:35pm – Kevin Rudd is a THIEF! Kevin Rudd STEALS MONEY FROM THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF AUSTRALIA!

7:36pm – Shot of Julie Bishop in safety orange dress. Television explodes.

7:38pm – Performance pay for schools and $5000 bribe for teachers to take PD in Howard’s version of Australian history. 120 days of prac for trainee teachers — can’t wait to hear what schools and unions have to say about that.

7:41pm – Pete looks tired. Needs a Berocca and exposure to sunlight.

7:43pm – Tax cuts. “I pay my taxes!”

7:46pm – Profile of Pete reveals hunch in back. Needs to drink milk.

7:48pm – Roads, roads, roads. Howard has a little chuckle to himself after a particularly gentlemanly “hear, hear.” Teeth nearly slip out side of mouth.

7:50pm – Howard reading over Mark Vaile’s shoulder like a dude on the train reading somebody else’s MX.

7:52pm – 16 extra dentists in regional areas! We’re saved!

7:53pm – Pete starts talking about climate change; Howard starts looking shifty. Shot of Malcolm Turnbull reveals he is sitting as far away from Joe Hockey as possible. Must be a sweaty day in Parliament.

7:55pm – Government working hard to tackle climate change overseas because that doesn’t cost a single mining or forestry job over here.

7:58pm – Drought: cue sombre voice.

7:59pm – Army: continue sombre voice. Shot of Brendan Nelson — forehead appears to have grown larger. Obviously some kind of elephantitis.

8:00pm – Purchase of new Super Hornets to “ensure air superiority in the region Australia.”

8:01pm – Credit to small business and employers. Because employees have nothing to do with the success of business.

8:02pm – Weak round of applause from House. Weak cough from Pete. Cue grade seven digital literacy project ABC opening graphics and cue Tony Jones’ hideous tie.

8:05pm – Metallica documentary on ABC2.

“In short, we simply believe in individual freedom”
– Liberal party website

This guiding belief can be clearly seen in much of the federal government’s legislation over the years, such as penalties for not buying private health insurance and the ultimate clanger: WorkChoices.

The Editor: I’m nearly 30 and I’d like to purchase private health insurance.
The Liberal party: Great! We’ll support you in your decision.

The Editor: I’m nearly 30 and for the time being I’d like to remain within the public health system and pay a Medicare levy.
The Liberal party: No worries. We’ll just wait patiently and then slaughter you when you do decide to take out health insurance.

The Editor: I’d like to sign an AWA please.
Liberal party supported employer: Great! We’ll support you in your decision.

The Editor: I’d like to sign a union-negotiated collective agreement.
Liberal party supported employer: No.

As the weeks roll on I see more and more parallels between the Liberal philosophy of individual choice and the classroom management strategies employed in a primary school. In my first month of teaching I’ve tried hard to emulate the minister for industrial relations and avuncularity, Joe Hockey, by providing my students with Liberal style choice. I’ve found myself saying things like:

“I think you need to make a wiser choice about where you sit, student.”

“It’s time you thought about the choices you make in this classroom with regards to distracting other people, student.”

“You can choose to be an active member of this class and learn or choose to sit outside staring at the wall for the rest of the year, student”

It’s blindingly obvious that I’m not offering any real choice to the students but am trying to soften the command by giving the illusion of choice. Joe Hockey demonstrated this very philosophy in his “debate” with Julie Gillard last week:

JULIA GILLARD: I am happy to see workers sitting around and working out how they want to deal with their industrial arrangements.

KERRY O’BRIEN: Without a union, if they don’t want one?

JULIA GILLARD: If that is what they choose. And, to take an example, let’s look at the Queensland netballers, that’s been a big issue today. 20 women on the team, they play as a team, they want to negotiate their employment conditions as a team, and they can’t under the Howard Government’s legislation. Now, I don’t care whether they want the union involved or whether the 20 of them want to sit around and do it themselves, that’s entirely a matter for them, but if the 20 of them want to do it together, then they should be able to do it together, and they can’t achieve that under Mr Howard’s laws.

KERRY O’BRIEN: Joe Hockey?

JOE HOCKEY: You need to have flexibility in the workplace, Kerry. Flexibility can include individual contracts. Again, under the Labor Party, individual contracts were essentially based on the award system, they were a bolt on to the award. What we are saying is, there has to be freedom. If individuals want to negotiate individual contracts, that is great.

KERRY O’BRIEN: What about if the individual doesn’t want to but is intimidated into?

JOE HOCKEY: What choice does an individual get if they are thrown a collective agreement?

KERRY O’BRIEN: Well, which is worse?

JOE HOCKEY: I would say it’s worse to have a collective agreement thrown at you with no choice, or an award thrown at you which is negotiated by lawyers down at the Industrial Relations Commission in Melbourne, I think that is far worse than having an individual contract that you can tailor in negotiations with the employer…

JULIA GILLARD: Look, Joe has just tied himself up in a logical knot and I don’t think he’s ever going to get out of it. He is saying people should have choice, but let’s take the actual example of the Firebirds, the 20 netballers. They want a choice. The choice they want is they want to work together and have their own collective agreement. Under Mr Howard’s laws, what is getting thrown at them isn’t a collective agreement or an award. What is getting thrown at them is individual agreements they don’t want. So the Howard Government is actually saying, “You don’t really get a choice. If you choose a collective agreement, too bad.

But at least my teaching style will directly contribute to a stronger economy, less terrorism and more values.