GrodsCorp has long been a fan of Youth and Sports Minister Kate Ellis, so we were this morning incensed to read a gutless attack on Ms Ellis by opposition sports spokesman Pat Farmer.

The (dis)honourable member for Macarthur has branded Our Kate an “L plate minister” and claims that her hosting a Commonwealth sports ministers’ meeting in Beijing is “just embarrassing.” He goes on to accuse Ellis and Labor of being bereft of policy ideas, while putting forward absolutely none of his own, before suggesting that Kate will be taking a whiteboard to the meeting in the place of policies.

Here is Pat Farmer’s party leader (sic) formulating infinitely more important policy than sport last week.

In the party room… some backbenchers were angry that no written policy was presented to the meeting — which then proceeded to draft one. Mr Hunt and Ms Bishop wrote on a whiteboard as Dr Nelson dictated.

But let’s go back to Pat’s claims that Kate Ellis is an “L plate minister” and an embarrassment. I simply have two points to make.

1) Pat Farmer has only been in Parliament for three years longer than Kate Ellis. He has held no higher position than Parliamentary Secretary.

2) Here is Pat’s official MySpace profile picture.

What. A. Wanker.

‘Nuff said.

Ideological bantamweight Tim Blair has ridiculed youth minister Kate Ellis’ performance in Parliament today, and in doing so has linked to a completely unrelated photo of her in air-force kit. Go figure.

Anyway, in keeping with the tone of irrelevance, I have a question: who looks more ridiculous tarted up in battle fatigues — Kate Ellis…

… or Timmeh’s adorable little mate, Right Wing Commander Andrew Bolt?

Alright, then. Kruddy’s turn.

7:27pm – 21 with early cloud in Melbourne tomorrow. Ian Henderson wearing his trademark hideous hypercolour tie.

7:29pm – Jim Middleton wearing a tie made from carpet.

7:31pm – Krudd’s tie is very blue and reflective. Kate Ellis looking over Krudd’s shoulder and looking saucy as always.

7:32pm – Krudd attacks Howard’s eyesight: “lack of long-term vision.”

7:33pm – BAM! Kruddy hits his main themes straight away: globalisation, technology and climate change.

7:35pm – The “fair go”. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, oi, oi!

7:37pm – Labor reckons it has found $3 billion in savings. Howard’s eyebrow trimming? Pete’s tanning lounge? Tony’s rosaries?

7:38pm – Some goon on the government side of the house just yelled out “there’s no mining boom.”

7:40pm – Airline analogy is killing me.

7:41pm – EDUCATION REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!

7:43pm – No difference between a uni degree and a trade certificate. Did you get that, swinging voters? Not elitist.

7:44pm – Lots of trade workshops for all secondary schools. Not bad.

7:47pm – Whoah! Kruddy went pretty close to Latham’s “learning or earning” there.

7:48pm – Broadband will “turbo charge” growth. Gnarly.

7:49pm – Has anybody else noticed that Kruddy comes across as significantly more economically dry than Petey Costello?

7:51pm – Tahsands lfffff fndk slsdklkfdslfksd jjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjj ggggggggggggg hghghghgh gggggggggggggggg

7:53pm – Sorry. Just nodded off there for a moment.

7:55pm – Asia literate Australians. This is GOOD. Bloody good work, Kruddy.

7:58pm – Fixing Australia’s leaky pipes. Putting a bucket under Australia’s shower head. “Plugging the leaks.”

8:00pm – Wide shot reveals that Julie Bishop has opted for a more sensible grey suit tonight.

8:01pm – “The fair go out the back door.” Say that one more time, Kruddy, and I’ll vote for the Citizens’ Electoral Council.

8:02pm – Standing ovation because Kruddy’s not Kim Beazley.

8:03pm – Inspector Rex on SBS.