grodscorp@grods.comPossum 1, Weimar Rogenous 0
 | Posted by Ant Rogenous on Wednesday 4 June 2008, 7:21 pm Categories: Dogs Tags: Tags: attack, GayNaziLeftistPorn, LipPiercing, possum, WeimarRogenous |
The other night, I let my dog out for a wee before bedtime. This is nothing unusual.
As soon as I’d opened the door, he raced down to the back fence. This isn’t unusual either, as there are possums on the fence every night and he can’t even begin to think about lifting a leg until he’s chased these voyeuristic marsupials away.
For a dog that sniffs young girls’ arses in parks, he’s surprisingly modest.
Anyway, what was unusual was the sound he began making after he’d run behind the shed in pursuit of one of these creatures. It was a cross between a bark, a yelp, a howl, an ambulance siren running on a fast-dying battery, and the gurgling shriek of outrage you’d hear from MK if his mummy ever found and destroyed his stash of limited-edition gay Nazi leftist porn.
I ran down to the corner of the yard and saw my dog staggering backwards, still making that horrible noise, dragging in front of him the most outrageous lip piercing I’ve ever seen: a fully grown and particularly pissed-off brush-tailed possum.
He couldn’t shake his head to force the to possum let go because it had a claw hooked right through his fleshy, dangly Weimaraner lip, which was clearly causing him a lot of pain. And the possum obviously had no intention of letting go until this brute stopped making that hellish racket.
There was only one thing I could do: I booted humanely encouraged the possum away from my dog, after which the possum skidded along the grass for a bit thanked me kindly and made his way up the nearest tree.
You’d think Weimar Rogenous would have a) learned his lesson, or b) been grateful for my intervention. Or maybe even both. Instead, he stood under the tree barking up at his attacker — fairly begging for another shot at it — until E came down from the house and dragged him inside so we could examine his wounds and put Betadine on them.
Dogs. Who’d have them?
GrodsThink Ep.31 (16/9/08)
