To the couple on my train this morning on the way to work, GET A FUGGIN ROOM!

No one wants to see tongue-action more icky than that of Axl Rose and Stephanie Seymour snogging, hand under the jumper (I saw you, boy, touch her nipple), blowing gently into each other’s neck, pretending to almost kiss then turning mouth away in a coquettish way (oh you’re such a flirt, aren’t you, girl?),  smiling seductively at each other (you think! It reminded me more of a chimp on speed) and staring into each other’s eyes in a deep, meaningful way.

I did not need to see all this at 8am on a Monday morning. Kthxbai.