Just like the chick in that famous Britney YouTube video there is at least one punter who thinks that everyone should just leave Mark Vaile alone.

Bob Barnes, 61, didn’t care if Mr Vaile was still getting his parliamentary wage or not.

“He’s been working hard for years, he’s the best elected member anyone could (wish for).

“Give him a little break — leave poor old Mark alone.”

And I reckon that Bob’s right. Vaile, Downer, Costello et. al. have every moral right to spend their days working to secure post-politics employment as consultants with six or seven figure salaries while simultaneously drawing their Parliamentary salary and benefits for work they’re not doing and have no intention of ever doing again. I mean, just look at poor old Mark who’s taken a $100,000 hit to his pay after being demoted from deputy PM to opposition backbencher. I’m sure he’s hurting just as much as Alexander and Peter who also have mouths to feed and share portfolios to build. Their need to secure future employment far outweighs any obligation they have to serve the people who voted them into Parliament to represent them. Not the mention the bruises to their egos suffered after those nasty voters gave them and their kind the arse.

I mean, it’s not like the three of them could retire tomorrow and instantly access offensively large lifetime superannuation payouts to tide them over the few months it would take to land another job.

They’re replaying edited highlights (or lowlights, as the case may be) of the Liberal campaign launch on ABC. Here are my thoughts…

* JHo: “My fellow Australians.” Spew.
* JHo: “This election is about the future… despite how great the past is.” It always comes back to the past doesn’t it, John?
* Costello: “Economic storm clouds on the horizon that will increase inflation, interest rates and unemployment. But we will decrease inflation, interest rates and unemployment.”
* JHo: “Family is the cornerstone of society.” And that’s why you’re force-feeding middle class welfare pork down families’ throats, despite Australia “no longer being a welfare state.”
* Vaile: Sorry, missed that. Went to sleep.
* Abbot: Is doing his interview in the rain holding an umbrella that has stars and moons all over it. Bwah hah hah!
* JHo: “We will give you nine billion bucks to bribe you to vote for us. Um, actually, what I mean is education, child care, Great Australian Dream and other stuff like that. Family, family, family.”
* Howard, never one to attract the term “charismatic”, is actually looking (if it’s possible) less charismatic than normal. He looks about as inspiring as the flotation ball inside my toilet cistern.
* JHo: “New homeowners shouldn’t pay for infrastructure that benefits them and the wider community.” So you’ll make those homeowners pay through their tax payments instead, John? This is appalling policy.
* Julie Bishop is on the telly telling me that parents have the right to choose the quality of their kids’ schools. And what sort of choice do parents have when state schools are desperately underfunded, Julie?
* JHo to the rescue — he’s going to make independent school fees tax deductible. Problem fixed then.
* JHo: “Fees and levies that have crept into the public school system.” Why do you think public schools have to charge those fees and levies, you great, fucking cockhead of a man?
* JHo: “Indigenous intervention has brought to an end 20-30 years of problems.” I think it’s been going on longer than that, John. Also, you had ten-and-a-half years to fix it before that — why didn’t you?
* JHo: “To continue to decide who comes to this nation.” Anyone but those dirty, fightin’ Sudanese if Kevin Andrews has anything to do with
* Downer: “If the terrorists win there will terrible consequences.” Dickhead.
* JHo: “Tough on drugs.” Ruddock just appeared on screen to back up Howard’s words. He looks as ghoulish as ever.
* Kevin Andrews: “We must protect our way of life.” Your way of life is nothing like mine, Kev, so stop trying to impose yours upon me via Parliament. Get your rosaries off my ov… um, testicolies.
* JHo: “UNIONS! UNIONS! UNIONS! COAST-TO-COAST LABOR! BOO!”
* The closing music sounds like the elevator muzak you hear over the top of 1980s telemovies on Channel Seven at midday.

Watching that made me feel genuinely sick. The sun will shine on Australia if the coalition is no longer in charge on 25 November.

A very interesting text message was just read out on ABC774 (paraphrasing): “I’m a working Australian and I don’t care about the AWB scandal. That’s just the way business is done. The media should just get over it and talk about something Australians care about.”

There is no doubt that the Cole Inquiry’s terms of reference were framed in such a way to avoid any sort of real finding against the Government. There is no doubt that the Government, as Michelle Grattan says, had its “eyes half open.” There is no doubt that the whole affair is a disgusting example of the Howard Government’s deliberate erosion of ethics and governmental standards. But you know what? The average Australian just doesn’t give a toss. And that’s why Howard, Downer and Vaile will walk away from this thing with reputations completely untarnished while Beazley, Rudd and the serious news media will do themselves no favours by banging on about an issue that the bulk of the public has moved on from.