I’ve taken to singing to my 12-week-old son this past month, and it’s led to a realisation all adults have sooner or later: the youth of today have musical taste up their arse.

Here are the last three songs I sang him:

1. Beyond the sea by Bobby Darin

Reaction: Apathy

2. Good day sunshine by The Beatles

Reaction: Indifference

3. I’ve been thinking about you by London Beat

Reaction: LOST HIS FUCKING MIND

Shi-pow-pow.