Bagging Today Tonight and A Current Affair for shoddy journalism is a national sport. It’s the mainstay of Media Watch’s weekly schedule. The latest controversy about Papuan Kid Soup has spawned a fresh round of attacks on the soap opera that is commercial consumer current affairs.

But look at it objectively for a minute and things aren’t quite so cut-and-dry. Critiquing the quality of “journalism” on these programs is like shooting fish in a barrel. It’s so obviously not journalism that it basically defeats the purpose of exposing it as unethical sensationalism. That’s what got GrodsCorp thinking and today I can reveal the resuts of our EXCLUSIVE investigation.

Networks Nine and Seven are working together — Naomi and Tracey serve the same master.

That’s right, readers; their latest Papuan cannibal adventure has given the game away. There are no legal battles, no crisis meetings, no angry airport encounters. Only two networks who collude in order to orchestrate the most ridiculous and trainwreck-like coverage across their respective television channels.

It’s all too perfect: the duelling heads of news and current affairs, the pathetic autocue reader desperately chasing credibility, the bemused naked kid from some stone age tribe that is (apparently) destined to become casserole. Rob Sitch and the Working Dog crew couldn’t script this any better.

If you’re still a doubter, just watch for both programs’ ratings for this week just gone and this week coming. Far from being swathes of partisan TT or ACA devotees out there, cheering their favourite host on in the Wa-Wa Wars™, there are simply a couple of million suckers who continue to fall for the current affairs cartel’s offerings and mindlessly tune in for a fix of scripted, sensationalist TV.