A 19-year-old woman from Queensland is charged with procuring an illegal abortion.

A CAIRNS teenager who allegedly self-aborted at two months with an abortion pill smuggled in from overseas has gained support from the pro-choice lobby.

Tegan Simone Leach, 19, is believed to be the first woman charged in Queensland in nearly 50 years for organising her own miscarriage and is facing up to 14 years in jail.

Given that medical abortions are available in that state, rather than bringing in Teh Law shouldn’t we be looking into why this young woman didn’t attempt to access one of these legal and safe services, choosing instead to import a pill and take it in the absence of medical supervision?

Growing up in regional Queensland in the 1980s meant watching locally produced commercial television, some of which must count among the most execrable ever broadcast. Also, watching local television meant being subjected to what amounted to a round-the-clock brainwashing campaign on behalf of Castlemaine Perkins. By my recollection, there was a plug for Fourex every 4.2 minutes, most of which included the only celebrities Queensland had at the time (other than Jackie McDonald): sportsmen.

What with the hoo-ha about the State election, a friend reminded me of the existence of this abomination. Since I saw it about 5000 times in 1985, it’s only taken one viewing to ensure that I can’t rinse the sounds or images from my mind. I thought I’d share the pain with GrodsReaders.

NB

1. The heady blend of alcohol and retro-styled homeroticism.

2. Thommo’s mullet.

3. When they say that there’s been an 80s fashion revival, they’re lying. That is 80s fashion, and you don’t see hipsters getting around in anything that comes even close.

If I can’t get it out of my head soon, I’m calling Dr Nitschke.

(This post is part of GrodsCorp’s continuing series on the 2009 Queensland state election. The opening argument from our LNP commentator is here.)

I played cricket against Peter Beattie once. It was at an ALP fundraiser in an unprepossessing park in Brisbane’s southern suburbs. In the post-barbecue hit-out, I was doing well with the bat when Beattie, then Opposition Leader, arrived for a back-slapping cameo. Walking onto the field, grinning, he grabbed a ball with jests from an ancient branchie. Off a very short run, still grinning, he served up an utterly pedestrian, short, slow delivery at me. But I failed to move my feet, swung and missed, and lost my off stump. I was out, knocked off my game by his idiotic, mesmerising grin. Anna Bligh was there too, I think, but I don’t remember much about what she was doing.

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(During the Queensland state election campaign GrodsCorp will provide running commentary from two north-of-the-border natives who represent both ends of the political spectrum. GrodsCorp’s own Jason will attempt to convince you all that Anna Bligh’s ALP is the best team to run the state, while guest contributor Russell Egan will argue on behalf of Lawrence Springborg’s Liberal National Party.

Our series kicks off tonight with Russell’s opening argument and will hopefully continue tomorrow if Jason can stop Twittering long enough to write his.)

LNP4QLD (cf Anna4Qld)
By Russell Egan

They have been at it for 10 long hard years now, the ALP. Peter Beattie was good at managing the media and and mataining an appearance of being very busy while achieving absolutely nothing (can anyone say “Smart State number plates?”). Sure there was the odd embarrassment like Dr Jayant Patel, Merri Rose, Gordon Nuttall, Chris Hurley, Pat Purcell or Ronan Lee not to mention crises in every major service delivery area: water, power, health, education and law and order. Peter Beattie had a lot to answer for… or apparently not. Despite the procession of monumental stuff ups under his Premiership, Peter Beattie was re-elected Premier in 2001, 2004 and 2007. Year in year out I would vote Liberal never hoping for too much, but more relishing in the fact that I hadn’t voted for Peter Beattie.

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She’s back…

Controversial former politician Pauline Hanson will attempt to win a seat in the Queensland parliament at the March 21 state election. Ms Hanson confirmed today that she will again make a tilt at a parliamentary career, but declined to confirm where she will stand.

“I will be standing,” she said. “I’m sorry that I’m quite evasive about this at the moment, but there’s a lot happening and I just can’t say too much.”

…and she’s going to make a killing:

Registered political parties may claim reimbursement of election campaign costs, up to the level of their entitlement, in respect of those of their endorsed candidates who gained at least 4 per cent of the formal first preference vote in the electorate contested. The entitlement is calculated by multiplying the total of eligible votes received by the election funding rate indexed annually (currently $1.54737 for 2008/9).

In 2004, when she made a half-arsed run at the federal Senate, Paauuuline sucked almost $190,000 of sweet mother’s milk from the taxpayer teat. In 2007  it was almost $213,000. These most-recent funds were paid to her United Australia Party (a mum-and-dad operation, run from a one-room office at the rear of Dr TingTong’s boarding house in lower Ipswich) – however Paauuuline whipped it out of the party’s bank accounts before you could say “xenophobia”. Don’t dare question her though: she gets really cross and shows you ’rithmetic and fancy tables and stuff.

Hanson is virtually unelectable now, however there remains, especially in Queensland, a small cohort of loopy tin hat-wearing housewives, pensioners and rugby league supporters  - and probably a few blogers (sic) – who are still silly enough to vote for her. It’s potentially possible for her to run in state and federal elections for the next decade or more and clear a couple of million from the AEC’s swag. Something must be done, even if it is slightly undemocratic, to stop this idiotic bigot cashing in on her fading celebrity.

Oddly, I agree with John Surname. (Less shockingly, I disagree with Leon). Those people in Victoria complaining about high school muck up days need to take a teaspoon of cement and HTFU. Imagine if they had this to contend with:

WILD wallabies are terrorising a Townsville retirement village, knocking over residents and defecating on lawns and patios.

Residents at Carlyle Gardens are said to be too afraid to leave their homes when the 100-strong mob runs amok in the early mornings and late afternoons.

The wallabies are crashing into cars, scooters and even elderly residents.

Large male wallabies, over a metre tall and weighing up to 30kg, are fighting, falling against the side of homes and damaging walls.

A few things to say about this:

(a) Wild wallabies seem to defecate with abandon, but even they don’t crap in Gelato.

(b) If we weren’t being oppressed by the nanny state and the old people were allowed to carry automatic weapons, this wouldn’t be a problem.

(c) Having lived in North Queensland, I will concede the possibility that this is essentially bullshit – a bunch of wild exaggerations thrown together by a Townsville Bulletin journalist in a late-afternoon frenzy, as they try desperately to respond to the awful grinding reality that once the NRL season is over, there is almost nothing to put in the newspaper.

(d) The photo and header they used are utterly, utterly AWESOME.

GrodsCommenter Jason is a competitive man. He’s the kind of man who will go to any lengths to outdo everyone at everything. So when Jason heard that some women were pegging some men, he decided to go quite a few better.

Behold! Jason Wilson pegging an entire state:

…part of what makes it difficult to peg Queensland…

Smart arse.

Conservatives are wetting their pants over Mal Brough’s moves to re-enter politics after being unceremoniously dumped from Parliament at last year’s election. Brough will contest the Queensland Liberal presidency — the Libs being the junior coalition member in that State with Nationals MP Lawrence Springborg as leader.

Former Howard government minister Mal Brough is set for a political comeback, but has not decided whether he will run at a state or federal level.

[...]

Mr Brough has told ABC radio’s AM he plans to cut short his overseas holiday to contest the Queensland Liberal Party presidency.

He admits it is a springboard to get him back into public office but will not say which way he will jump.

That’s one pretty pissy springboard. The Qld coalition holds 25 seats in the 89 seat chamber, and the Liberals represent a mere 8 of those seats. Holding the presidency of the Libs in QLD will give Brough some rooly, trooly awesome power within the party nationally. I suppose he needs to start somewhere though.

Lord Sedgwick has scooped the entire mainstream media with an explosive revelation about the Nationals leadership in Queensland.

Following on from Ed’s Gloria Jeans revelation, fundamentalist nutjobs certainly seem to be thick on the ground at the moment. One called Brita Stream (is it just me or does that sound like a water filtration product?) is doing the rounds as a guest speaker, peddling the claim that abortion causes breast cancer. Just like evolutionary science causes brain tumours and not donating to Hillsong causes leprosy. Brita is eminently qualified on matters scientific: she was Miss Oregon 2002, after all.

A loosely-connected bit of weirdness… News Limited reports that Queensland is the UFO-sighting hub of Australia, with more than 100 of last year’s 128 sightings coming from there. The Glasshouse Mountains is listed as an alien ‘hotspot’ so I’m curious about whether authorities have received information about any “U;F;O;s”. Good to see also from the online story that News is recruiting its picture subs from the Chaser.

I suppose it’s a side-effect of having no upper house but non-ALP voting Queenslanders would rightly feel jibbed after the last state election. Without an upper house elected proportionally minor parties — and even the Libs — lack parliamentary representation commensurate with their vote. Some Queenslanders have had enough and have launched a campaign for the introduction of proportional representation. So if you’re from the Vegas State go and check out their campaign website: www.pr4qld.org.