Wallabies bash retirees

Posted by Jason on Thursday 30 October 2008, 12:30 pm
Categories: Environment, Media, Weird shit  Tags: Tags: ,

Oddly, I agree with John Surname. (Less shockingly, I disagree with Leon). Those people in Victoria complaining about high school muck up days need to take a teaspoon of cement and HTFU. Imagine if they had this to contend with:

WILD wallabies are terrorising a Townsville retirement village, knocking over residents and defecating on lawns and patios.

Residents at Carlyle Gardens are said to be too afraid to leave their homes when the 100-strong mob runs amok in the early mornings and late afternoons.

The wallabies are crashing into cars, scooters and even elderly residents.

Large male wallabies, over a metre tall and weighing up to 30kg, are fighting, falling against the side of homes and damaging walls.

A few things to say about this:

(a) Wild wallabies seem to defecate with abandon, but even they don’t crap in Gelato.

(b) If we weren’t being oppressed by the nanny state and the old people were allowed to carry automatic weapons, this wouldn’t be a problem.

(c) Having lived in North Queensland, I will concede the possibility that this is essentially bullshit - a bunch of wild exaggerations thrown together by a Townsville Bulletin journalist in a late-afternoon frenzy, as they try desperately to respond to the awful grinding reality that once the NRL season is over, there is almost nothing to put in the newspaper.

(d) The photo and header they used are utterly, utterly AWESOME.

Wallabies.jpg

The pegged state

Posted by Scott on Thursday 11 September 2008, 7:33 am
Categories: Media, Weird shit  Tags: Tags: , ,

GrodsCommenter Jason is a competitive man. He’s the kind of man who will go to any lengths to outdo everyone at everything. So when Jason heard that some women were pegging some men, he decided to go quite a few better.

Behold! Jason Wilson pegging an entire state:

…part of what makes it difficult to peg Queensland…

Smart arse.

Brough to use Springborg as springboard

Posted by Scott on Wednesday 2 April 2008, 2:14 pm
Categories: Politics  Tags: Tags: , , ,

Mal BroughConservatives are wetting their pants over Mal Brough’s moves to re-enter politics after being unceremoniously dumped from Parliament at last year’s election. Brough will contest the Queensland Liberal presidency — the Libs being the junior coalition member in that State with Nationals MP Lawrence Springborg as leader.

Former Howard government minister Mal Brough is set for a political comeback, but has not decided whether he will run at a state or federal level.

[...]

Mr Brough has told ABC radio’s AM he plans to cut short his overseas holiday to contest the Queensland Liberal Party presidency.

He admits it is a springboard to get him back into public office but will not say which way he will jump.

That’s one pretty pissy springboard. The Qld coalition holds 25 seats in the 89 seat chamber, and the Liberals represent a mere 8 of those seats. Holding the presidency of the Libs in QLD will give Brough some rooly, trooly awesome power within the party nationally. I suppose he needs to start somewhere though.

Queensland Nationals leadership

Posted by Scott on Monday 21 January 2008, 7:08 pm
Categories: Politics  Tags: Tags: , , , ,

Lord Sedgwick has scooped the entire mainstream media with an explosive revelation about the Nationals leadership in Queensland.

It’s fundy week

Posted by Bridgit Gread on Tuesday 23 October 2007, 10:26 am
Categories: Freaks, Health, Religion  Tags: Tags: , , , , , ,

Following on from Ed’s Gloria Jeans revelation, fundamentalist nutjobs certainly seem to be thick on the ground at the moment. One called Brita Stream (is it just me or does that sound like a water filtration product?) is doing the rounds as a guest speaker, peddling the claim that abortion causes breast cancer. Just like evolutionary science causes brain tumours and not donating to Hillsong causes leprosy. Brita is eminently qualified on matters scientific: she was Miss Oregon 2002, after all.

A loosely-connected bit of weirdness… News Limited reports that Queensland is the UFO-sighting hub of Australia, with more than 100 of last year’s 128 sightings coming from there. The Glasshouse Mountains is listed as an alien ‘hotspot’ so I’m curious about whether authorities have received information about any “U;F;O;s”. Good to see also from the online story that News is recruiting its picture subs from the Chaser.

PR 4 the Vegas State

Posted by Scott on Thursday 28 December 2006, 7:18 am
Categories: Politics  Tags: Tags: , , ,

I suppose it’s a side-effect of having no upper house but non-ALP voting Queenslanders would rightly feel jibbed after the last state election. Without an upper house elected proportionally minor parties — and even the Libs — lack parliamentary representation commensurate with their vote. Some Queenslanders have had enough and have launched a campaign for the introduction of proportional representation. So if you’re from the Vegas State go and check out their campaign website: www.pr4qld.org.



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