We’ve all heard the favoured insult — un-Australian — of politicians who wish to strike out at values not aligned with their own, but now there’s a new un word that we in Melbourne can hurl around with gay abandon: un-Melburnian.

This latest bastardisation of the language comes courtesy of Melbourne Lord Mayor John So (who is definitely not John Surname’s bro.) He has branded a public art vandal un-Melburnian for taking a sledgehammer to the Sandridge Bridge. But as with the concept of un-Australian, to truly understand what is un something we must first know what it is to be that something in the first place. So, dear readers, help me to work out what somebody must be lacking to be accurately labeled as un-Melburnian.

A taste for real coffee? A sense of smug satisfaction at being better than Sydney? A love of “unique laneways”?