Conversation one involves The Editor and a cafe worker in her early twenties.

The Editor: One takeaway latte please.
Cafe worker: That’ll be $2.80 thanks.
The Editor: (Handing over $20 note) There you go.
Cafe worker: (Punching register buttons) Damn! I rung it up twice. I’ll have to work out the change in my head.
The Editor: …
Cafe worker: Um, twenty minus two, minus, um…
The Editor: …
Cafe worker: (Pulling mobile phone out of pocket) I’ll do it on my phone.
The Editor: (!)
Cafe worker: That’s $17.20 change.

I blame public schools.

Conversation two involves McBec and a talkative clothes store sales assistant in her late thirties.

Sales assistant: I’ve had the weirdest day.
McBec: Really?
Sales assistant: I was walking to work this morning when my phone beeped. It was a text from my next door neighbour’s son.
McBec: Okay.
Sales assistant: It was a picture he’d taken of himself naked with a hard on.
McBec: (!)
Sales assistant: I don’t know if he texted the wrong number or not. I don’t know what to do.