sick - GrodsCorp

Here’s Looking At You — the anti-love edition

Posted by Bron on Monday 12 May 2008, 9:40 am
Categories: Public transport Tags: Tags: LoveyDoveyIdiots, MX, sick

To the couple on my train this morning on the way to work, GET A FUGGIN ROOM!

No one wants to see tongue-action more icky than that of Axl Rose and Stephanie Seymour snogging, hand under the jumper (I saw you, boy, touch her nipple), blowing gently into each other’s neck, pretending to almost kiss then turning mouth away in a coquettish way (oh you’re such a flirt, aren’t you, girl?), smiling seductively at each other (you think! It reminded me more of a chimp on speed) and staring into each other’s eyes in a deep, meaningful way.

I did not need to see all this at 8am on a Monday morning. Kthxbai.

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Who’d own pets? #2

Posted by The Editor on Saturday 22 September 2007, 3:38 pm
Categories: Napoleon Tags: Tags: Cats, death, Napoleon, sick, vet

Not only do they run away, but they get sick too. One day Napoleon looks a little lethargic and is off his food, and the next morning he looks like he’s about to slip away to the big scratching post in the sky.

So you take some time off work, borrow your friend’s car, take the cat to the vet, hold him still while the vet shoves a thermometer up his arse, inspect the holes in your t-shirt from the cat’s claws that appear while the thermometer was shoved up arse, hold him still while the vet gives him a needle in the back of his leg, inspect the holes in your skin from the cat’s claws that appear while the needle was inserted in his leg, hand over your credit card for it to be violated, and further torture cat for next eight days with pills shoved down his throat.

And what gratitude do you get from the little shit in return? None. Not even a thankyou.