Listening to the frantically desperate John Howard flailing about in the media at the moment you’d be forgiven for thinking that the Labor states are responsible for everything bad that happens in this country, while the federal Liberal government (despite continually having to mop up states’ mess) is responsible for everything good that happens. Apparently the states cause higher interest rates and lower housing affordability, not to mention educational failures and negligent healthcare.

But here’s a little-known list of other evil deeds for which the ALP state governments are totally responsible.

* Delta Goodrem and Kylie Minogue’s cancers (QLD and VIC respectively)
* Crowded House’s first breakup (NSW)
* Channel Nine’s refusal to screen The Secret (SA)
* Big Brother (QLD — Peter Beattie specifically)
* John Howard’s dismal YouTube reviews (WA)
* Family First party (VIC)
* Emo (TAS)
* Scientology (NT)
* Iain Hall (QLD — again)

Unfortunately this list is incomplete. Please list other state government evils in comments.

You are hereby instructed to aggressively use this new federal vs. state, Liberal vs. ALP, wedge tactic against state governments in response to any criticism of the Howard government:

AN ANGRY Julie Bishop will tell Victoria to “put its money where its mouth is” and abolish the $93 million it extracts in payroll tax from universities every year if it is serious about universities being underfunded.
(source)

Family and Community Services Minister Mal Brough said the Howard Government was already giving ample support to parents who used child care.

“If Mr Bracks wants to take steps to increase availability in his state by talking directly to providers, that’s a matter for him,” Mr Brough said.

“One step he could take is to reduce tax impositions on child-care centres.”
(source)

The theme of this argument is that instead of the coalition federal government providing any extra funding, the Labor state governments should reduce their taxes.

Feel free to employ this argument liberally (pun intended) in the lead up to the ‘07 election.