Andrew Bolt today rhetorically asked his reader(s) if The Age columnists came in any political persuasion other than left-wing.

In unrelated news… This morning regular Age columnist John Roskam, of the right-wing Institute of Public Affairs, wrote an excellent column questioning the Victorian government’s policy of unquestioningly haemorrhaging money for “major events” like the Grand Prix and the swimming championships. Huge sums of cash are thrown at events that continually clock up massive losses but the expenditure is justified by pointing at unmeasurable economic benefits. Roskam provides a couple of interesting hypotheticals:

If the Government decided to devote an additional $80 million to recruiting extra literacy teachers in primary schools, there would be economic benefits. Better educated students will be more productive once they are in the workforce. But if the Government chose to use the money to have the rocks at the bottom of the Yarra painted red, there would also be economic benefits: paint would be purchased, painters employed and tourists would flock to see a river that was red instead of brown. Such a stunt would certainly generate worldwide headlines.

The question for Victoria is not whether there are economic benefits from taxpayer-subsidised major events, because obviously there are. The question is whether there are better alternative uses for the money.

The world swimming championships kick off in a couple of days and Melburnians can’t wait:

With four days before competition begins, organisers have sold 6500 tickets for synchronised swimming sessions, less than 11 per cent of the target of 60,000.

[...]

Overall, 103,000 tickets have been sold to the championships, which begin this Saturday and run until April 1. No finals event in any sport has sold out.

Mr Scott said there were still 2000 tickets left for Saturday’s opening ceremony. Organisers are still 50,000 tickets behind sales at the last world titles, widely considered an economic disaster. In 2005 in Montreal, Canada, there was an overall budget deficit of $C4.8 million ($A5.25 million).

This monumental white elephant of an event will cost over $50 million of taxpayer money, including who-knows-how-much to send a DVD of “lesson plans” to every school teacher in the state. I found mine in the pigeon hole last week and it will never see the light of day in my classroom. No way am I going to deliver a pathetic and underbaked promotional program masquerading as education. Here’s the blurb from inside the DVD cover:

SPLASH! is a resource of curriculum materials that has been developed to support the 12th FINA World Championships. Teachers can use the materials to create innovative and engaging lessons or unit (sic) of work which provide the opportunity to utilise the Championships as an authentic and exciting learning context.

Clearly the events are exciting. Nearly 7,000 people are excited about the synchronised swimming.

But let’s have a look at some of the innovative and engaging lessons on offer:

Penny The Penguin
The mascot for the 12th FINA World Championships is Penny the Penguin… The framework for the activities within the unit is created by key questions such as:
* What is special about Penny the Penguin?
* Why was Penny the Penguin chosen as a mascot? and
* Why are marine national parks and sanctuaries important?

Marvelous Melbourne
As the host of the 12th FINA World Championships, Melbourne offers a wealth of interesting and educational experiences for locals and visitors alike. The unit guides students through a range of activities where they investigate the diversity of attractions, activities and experiences that Melbourne has to offer locals and tourists.

Swimwear Fashion
Swimwear fashion has evolved over the last 100 years. In this task students relate swimwear fashion to social attitudes at various stages in our history. They research links between swimwear fashion and social history. They develop an advertisement which reflects both the swimwear and attitudes of the 1900s.

Cutural Diversity Week
Melbourne is recognised as being a cosmopolitan city which has been enriched by the rich cultural backgrounds of its citizens. During the 2007 12th FINA World Swimming Championships, people from many different countries and cultures will visit Melbourne. The Cultural Diversity Quest 2007 offers schools and their students an opportunity to explore the culturally diverse society in which they live and to see Melbourne through the eyes of its visitors. This activity encourages students to be truly inclusive of people from all different cultures and backgrounds.

What Did They Say?
Explain that [students] are going to write a short conversation between two athletes competing at the 12th FINA World Championships. They could choose the athletes by browsing the newspaper, sports magazines or related internet sites. When we write a piece of text there may be times when we include dialogue between people. In that instance, the speech of each person is identified using talking marks placed at the beginning and end of their speech.

Still awake? This waste of space was sent to EVERY TEACHER IN THE STATE. I’m no mathematician but my back-of-the-envelope calculations reveal that the design, production and mailout of the DVD cost: heaps. And it’s obviously resulted in a flood of ticket sales.

John Roskam reckons Victorians should wake up and start questioning the ridiculous wastage of their money on subsidising unpopular events. I agree.

Was at the pool with the school kiddies yesterday, sitting on the sidelines watching them learn not to drown while chlorine fumes burnt my brain via my nose. All a sudden a flurry of activity broke out on the other side of the pool where a group of mums were playing with their little sprogs in the paddling section. A man was unreeling police-style tape around a section of the pool and another was running towards the action with a net on a stick.

Sure enough, one of the little kids had taken a dump in the pool.

My kids were just getting out and had to walk past the infected area to get to the change rooms. If any of them refuse to get in the pool next week I won’t argue with them.