You know the drill. Best caption wins.

I like browsing through the videos at break.com, some of which are quite funny. This tacky stripper gag with its vagina-based humour is not one of them, but I did notice that it features a person bearing a striking resemblence to The Editor:

Actually, after looking at that last frame I’m beginning to wonder whether this wasn’t filmed after a boozy Tuesday night recording of Grodsthink.

Today’s Crikey has an interesting snippet:

I have been told that some Victorian state school principals get a percentage bonus if they can make staff savings within the school. For example, if a teacher goes on long service leave, and instead of being replaced by another teacher, they are replaced by the teachers within the school (as extras or in-lieus, which cost the school nothing), then the principal gets a percentage of the money that would have gone to hiring the teacher. My current principal apparently got a five figure bonus last year from this. It may just be Victorian Education Dept policy, or it may be a school based one, I’m not too sure.

Speaking as one of the poor (and regularly striking) underpaid teachers, I think it stinks to high heaven. That the school administration makes these decisions … based on personal profit, not educational lines, is wrong. That this is hidden from most staff is even worse. Incidentally, the feeling among many Victorian state teachers is either: a) We should be taking more comprehensive action (like the nurses last year) to achieve our goals, ie. full day strikes, but we are too bound by the old workchoices legislation. b) We should be withdrawing our support and involvement in the extra-curricular activities we do. The only way the parents can see how under pressure we are.

Teachers have been against performance-based pay for ages, saying how it’s good in theory but impractical and indefinable in practice. But this is evidence that performance-based pay is possible: just work your way up to principal, screw your colleagues over, save the department a fat wad of cash and walk away with enough for a new plasma TV and a trip to Fiji.

On another note, what should The Ed be withdrawing or withholding to give added teeth to the strike? I suggest he refuses to give out any stale Minties, lend any colour pencils and post any more Fleshlight jokes until Pike coughs up his 10 per cent.   

As The Editor today goes on strike and attends a rally in the CBD (interspersed, no doubt, with a couple of lattes) he should heed the words of disgruntled Mornington mum Karon Baker:

“What other person earns a 10% increase every year?” she asked. “It’s absurd that they believe they’re due a 30% pay rise over three years. I think that’s absolutely ridiculous… Teachers are starting to put themselves up on pedestals and it’s about time they were knocked down again,” she said.

She’s got good reason to feel annoyed, Ed. Her daughter, a Year 11 student, has missed a day’s part-time work because you Mao-loving commie bastards went on strike out of the blue (i.e. organised three months ago) as part of your greedy grab-for-cash. It is ludicrous that you bludging teachers expect parity with your fellow commies in other states while ROBBING TEENAGERS OF THEIR PART-TIME JOBS! I mean it’s not like they should be studying, learning from their crappily-paid teachers or anything important like that … not when there’s $7.85-an-hour shifts at McDonald’s, Bi-Lo or Woolies to be had. Hang your head in shame, Ed.

Meanwhile, an equally rounded ‘expert’ on education (he allegedly attended school) teachers (he’s married to one) and Kevin Rudd (he reads Tim Blair) proffers a completely unbiased evaluation of the ALP’s education policy here.

UPDATE
Herald-Sun readers join in the fight to bring those uppity teachers down a peg or two:

“Teachers have it easy. They technically work 5 hours a day & they get 14 weeks off a year. They have the nerve to claim they are stressed & underpaid.” (Manuk, Glenroy)

“…if they diservie a pay rise 30% who do they think they are ? come one Brumby use the work choices law you have and fine these teachers and fine them hard. AS YOU CAN TELL I CANT SPELL WHOES FAULT THE TEACHERS WHO WENT ON STRIKE.” (Ray, Werribee)

“They might be worth a pay rise if they could teach any other thing apart from left wing propaganda.” (Sam, Melbourne)

“Why do teachers demand a pay rise, when kids today cant read or write . how about the community walfare people working with dangoures people now thay deserve a pay rise no you teachers.” (Elena, Melbourne)

Cop that Ed!

Every other blogger’s doing it, so here’s The Editor — Simpsons style.

Happy birthday to me. 29 and never been kissed. Cash, cheques and money orders to the usual address.

And the hordes have spoken. Congratulations to Tommy on a 7 to 3 victory over The Editor. It could’ve been 8 to 3 but “fake name” stated that The Editor “sucks donkey penis” which, despite being a fairly damning criticism, is not technically a vote against me.

So well done to both CageFighters. I think Matt summed the whole thing up best when he said: “[Neither] argument was particularly persuasive, coherent, useful or convincing.” But at least we got to bag some people out and it gave us a handy excuse to procrastinate on the internet instead of doing things we really should’ve been doing.

Stay tuned for GrodsCageFight 2, readers. Negotiations are underway and it should hit your computer monitors within a fortnight.