As I’m the new kid on the block, I figure the only way to get people to sit up and notice, well, me is to become an upstart right from the, er, start.

Knowing how important The Fleshlight (do a search if you’re new and have no idea what a Fleshlight is, there are plenty of boyish posts on it) is to the lads and the laddish louts who read this blog, I am hoping to upset delicate feelings by bringing in a new competition: The Penis Flash Light. (Yours for only $6!)

Of course, it’s doomed to failure. It just doesn’t have that same name that rolls off the tongue like “Fleshlight” does. (No gratuitous jokes about it literally rolling off the tongue, please, gentlemen).

If it had a sensible yet catchy name (submissions please), it might just be the next big thing. On GrodsCorp only, of course.