Scenario: You’re in a laboratory and your colleague’s shirt catches on fire. Within reach is a fire extinguisher.

Do you…

a) Grab the fire extinguisher and put out the fire on your colleague’s shirt; or

b) Debate with other onlookers the risk posed to your colleague’s health by the contents of the fire extinguisher.

At the Engineering department of the University of Melbourne, it seems the answer is ‘b’.

From: Stephen Beard
Date: 8 January 2009 5:04:50 PM
Subject: Safety Alert – Use of Fire Extinguishers

Dear Engineering Staff & Students

You may have heard that there was a major safety incident in December that resulted in an employee receiving a bad burn to his back. One of the incidents (sic) contributing factors was that some people were unaware if they could use a fire extinguisher on a person. Please follow this link http://www.eng.unimelb.edu.au/about/safety/alerts/FireExtinguisher.pdf to read more about the basic operation of portable fire extinguishers.

Lab Managers – Please discuss this Safety Alert with your groups at your next meeting.

Thanks

Stephen Beard
EHS Manager, Melbourne School of Engineering

Apparently engineers need lessons on how to point and shoot a fire extinguisher. Awesome.

Coming next from the University of Melbourne engineering department: How To Open A Softdrink Can

We’ve long given Billybob shit for using names for colours that no man should use. You know, like mushroom, fuscia and taupe. As Goobermetrics and I tell him over and over again there are only certain colours, plus their light and dark derivatives, that men should use:
* white
* black
* blue
* red
* purple
* brown
* green
* orange
* yellow

This afternoon I logged onto the University of Melbourne student union website to book regalia wear for my graduation in two weeks and was confronted with a list of colours that would make Billybob proud:

How will I ever stand proud knowing that I am wearing malachite green?