Imagine you are a husky fellow of simple tastes and modest abilities. Imagine that, until now, you’ve been a long way back in the queue to the throne, but that suddenly the whole line of succession has been catastrophically blown up, leaving you as the heir apparent.
Where would you turn to find a precedent for your frightening situation? Could there perhaps be a work of cinematic art that might provide a way for you to understand your predicament?
Joe Hockey: The King Ralph of Australian politics.
The hardest working man in Parliament, Shadow Treasurer Joe Hockey, has written his first press release in one-and-a-half months, and his fifth since being appointed to the second most important job in the Liberal Party.
That is all.
I’m sick of certain sneering leftists on this website making fun of Joe Hockey. I think you’re all just afraid that his commonsense approach to the nation’s finances is starting to get through to people.
Yesterday in the Canberra Times, he blew the lid off a loopy socialist scheme to destroy all fun in Australia, forthwith.
The Government may also… increase the price of cigarettes by $2.50 a packet and draught beer by 15c.
Opposition treasury spokesman Joe Hockey said it was ”not good to see that beer and ciggies are going up” in the budget
No, Joe, it’s not good. I have just worked out on the back of a coaster that these hideous Stalinist imposts will add $270 a week to my entertainment expenses. How does this help anyone? Swan might be drunk on power, but what are the rest of us supposed to do for kicks when a schooner costs as much as a Hyundai Getz?
Anyway, as of this weekend, I’m starting to think this boy has what it takes to go all the way. Go, Joe.
Here’s Media Monitors’ table of last week’s 20 most mentioned politicians (via Crikey). First person to find on this list the holder of the Liberal Party’s second most important job gets a hand job from John Surname in addition to his RuddBucks.
Nick Xenophon is higher on the list than Joe “alleged Shadow Treasurer” Hockey. Nick Xenophon.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Joe Hockey, the alleged Shadow Treasurer, has been missing in action for months now, and with the global financial crisis, CPRS backflip, and imminent budget you’d think he’d have plenty to say. However, it’s still impossible to find a single press release from the Merchant of Boom since 25 March.
So enough is enough; it’s time to find out exactly where Joe Hockey is and assess his progress on the voyage to FAIL. GrodsCorp is offering a bounty of $900 (John Surname’s RuddBucks) for the capture of Joe Hockey, dead or alive.
A desperate measure perhaps, but these are desperate times for the Liberal Party. Even ideologically confused rabbles deserve a treasury spokesperson.
