After being reported missing yesterday Kim Beazley has been sighted on the opinion pages of The Age. Accusing Amanda Vanstone of distracting attention from work visa issues by calling him a racist, Kim does the same, distracting attention from his being called a racist by focusing on work visa issues. Apparently it’s a race to the bottom in the brave new world of WorkChoices — and I can’t much argue with that.

So some ticks for Kim’s efforts to turn the debate around and have it on his terms, but some crosses for his continued oversimplification of the IR debate with lines such as this:

And in the end, this is not about xenophobia or rogue bosses — this is all about the Prime Minister’s wages race to the bottom. Labor will halt the race to the bottom by ripping up the mechanism that allows it — Australian Workplace Agreements.

And Kim even found the space in his article for an opportunistic plug for his pathetic and xenophobic values pledge policy:

But I am strongly of the view that workers who come to Australia should understand the Aussie work ethic, and a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work.

It’s one of the reasons I want these workers to sign up to these values when they come to Australia.

But most offensive is Kim’s ongoing pursuit of mediocrity, with his continued pitching of all policy to “middle Australia.” The article was bookended with claims that John Howard and WorkChoices are “delivering a one-two punch to middle Australia.” Can’t really argue with that, but I’d like to think that a Labor government would govern for all Australians, not just the middle, with a vision for greatness, not ordinariness.

Sorry, Kim Beazley, I’ve had enough. You’ve been opposition leader for the better part of a decade and I thought you’d have got your act together by now. Fair enough, you still feel bitter about having the win snatched from your waiting paws in 2001 but isn’t it time to move on? You’ve been leader this time around for over 18 months and we still don’t know what you stand for. John Howard’s advice on the weekend to state Liberal opposition leaders was this: “You’ve got to develop, over a longer period of time, an alternative policy, an alternative story as to how you want the state governed.” Good advice, Kim.

I’m a fairly keen political observer and all that comes to my mind when I try to think of your policies is: abolish AWAs, set up some sort of ISP porn filter, and boost politician superannuation to pre-Latham levels. Oh, and of course your latest split-second brainwave: put an Australian values checkbox on immigration forms.

That has got to be the lowest of the low, Kim. Instead of developing proper, considered and grown-up national security policy you put on your racist hat and populist pants and try to out-Howard John Howard.

You’re an embarrassment, Kim. Almost every single one of your policy announcements seems, at best, ill-considered and, at worst, totally reactive. It’s hard to think of anything you’ve said of any substance that wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction to the Government, the unions, or somebody within your own party. And worse is the distinct impression that I get of you being somewhat disinterested and lacking passion in the job. I know you started shouting more in Question Time earlier this year but it’s quite obvious that your increased volume is nothing more than an attempt to prove that you are in possession of “ticker”.

You see, Kim, I really want to vote for Labor. I desperately want to vote for Labor. It would take something very, very big to make me vote Liberal. But, Kim, you’re doing everything you can to make me cross to the dark side.

It’s time to go, Kim, before it’s too late. Quit now so that your successor has half a chance to establish themselves before the ‘07 election.

Say what you like about Mark Latham, but at least he had a vision for the nation and the entire electorate knew exactly what he stood for. And we knew he believed in it himself.

UPDATE (6.55pm): SBS News has just reported that about 3.5 million tourists arrive each year on electronic visas and don’t fill out any visa paperwork on the plane or upon arrival. So, Kim, did your homework then?

On September 11 the slippery argument of whether Australia is safer or not after five years of “war on terror” was always going to pop up. John Howard says yes, we are safer and has called on Muslims to learn English, integrate, and denounce terrorism. Kim Beazley says no, we’re not safer and has called for tourists and immigrants to sign up to Australian values (”respect for each other, mateship, fairness, freedom and respect for our laws”), along with the teaching of Australian values to immigrant children in schools.

You see, if only all of them Muslims would become more like Steve Irwin everything would be okay and you could throw your fridge magnet out. Steve Irwin was so Australian he even died like an Australian. Does anybody else find this populist and xenophobic attitude offensive that “if only they were more like us, instead of more like them” our Way Of Life™ wouldn’t be threatened?

And what is this Way Of Life™ anyway?

But back to the point, and the superiority of Australians and Australian values. All Muslims should became Australian (because, you know, Muslim is a nationality, not a religion) because no Australian’s ever done anything contrary to our Way Of Life™ before.